| Fast
Times at Ridgemont High (1982) by Cameron Crowe
FADE IN:
EXT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL - NIGHT
From the outside parking lot it looks like an
enormous beached whale. It is the prime hangout for
all the teenagers in the area. Kids mill around the
parking lot or stand by the mall entrance.
INT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL
There are three levels of stores underneath a
massive fluorescent roof. Different music comes
from each store. It looks seventies-modern, but
already used and run-down. Groups of kids cruise
the mall, eyeing each other and acting cool.
INT. SWENSON'S ICE-CREAM PARLOR - NIGHT
The teenage waitresses in their peppermint pattie
uniforms are rushing around, trying to keep up with
their orders.
A good-looking man in his mid-twenties enters and
sits. He wears a plastic name tag that says:
"Pacific Stereo Audio Consultant, RON JOHNSON."
Two Swenson's Waitresses pass by with supreme
indifference, and take their orders into the back
kitchen.
INT. SWENSON'S BACK KITCHEN
WAITRESS #1
I think he looks like Richard Gere.
The two Waitresses discuss the issue at hand. One
of them, Linda Barrett, is the seventeen year old,
retired sex queen of Ridgemont High.
WAITRESS #1 (CONT'D)
I think he looks like... Richard
Gere. (Bruce Springsteen)
LINDA
Did you see his cute little butt?
A third waitress enters.
WAITRESS #2
Let's talk about C-19.
WAITRESS #1 AND LINDA
We were!
WAITRESS #2
I think I'll drop over and change
the shakers.
LINDA
No, be cool, that's Stacy's
section.
Through the entrance, we see Stacy Hamilton. She is
the fifteen-year-old trainee, sweet-looking with
just the last traces of baby fat. She puts down a
glass of water for Ron, spills some and mops it up.
WAITRESS #1
He's too old for Stacy, she hasn't
even started high school yet.
A flustered Stacy enters the back kitchen.
LINDA
How's it going.
STACY
Do you think that guy's cute?
WAITRESS #1
In a blow-dryed kind of way.
STACY
Does anyone else want to take his
table?
LINDA
Don't you like him?
STACY
Yeah, but I fucked up. You can take
it. Really.
LINDA
Come on, Stacy, it's your section
and your man.
STACY
What should I do?
LINDA
Just take his order, look him in
the eye and if he says anything
remotely funny, laugh a lot.
She fluffs up Stacy's hair and gently shoves her
towards the door. Stacy reluctantly exits.
INT. SWENSON'S DINING ROOM
Stacy goes to Ron's table.
RON
So you working hard or hardly
working?
Stacy thinks it over, decides it's a joke and
laughs (a little too late). Ron looks at her
soulfully.
RON (CONT'D)
You look like you could still be in
high school.
STACY
I know, everyone says that.
He stares at her and she stares back uncomfortably.
STACY (CONT'D)
What can I get for you tonight.
RON
How about your phone number?
Stacy smiles nervously.
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - OUTSIDE SWENSON'S - NIGHT
A teenage boy stands in front of an in-mall theatre
across from Swenson's. He wears a stiff over-sized
tuxedo suit. He is Mark "The Rat" Ratner, a ticket
taker on the job.
Mike Damone, a transplanted Easterner, bops over
from the record store, eyeing every girl he passes.
He stops at the movie theatre.
THE RAT
Do you ever look at those girls who
work at Swenson's? They're
beautiful. And I have to stand out
here and watch them six nights a
week.
DAMONE
You should work for yourself.
Two Junior High Kids spot Damone, walk up to him.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
What can I do for you, gentlemen?
JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
You the guy with the Van Halen
tickets?
DAMONE
I could be.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
What do you want for something in
the first ten rows?
DAMONE
Twenty bucks apiece.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
Those tickets were only twelve
fifty!
DAMONE
So don't buy 'em.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
(to friend)
All the other scalpers are sold
out, Arnold.
Damone reacts indignantly.
DAMONE
Scalper? You call me a scalper? I
perform a service, my friends. The
service costs money. Now do you
want the tickets or not?
The Kids look at each other.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
Are you sure you can't go any
lower.
DAMONE
These are my special back-to-school
prices.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
We'll take 'em.
Damone reaches inside his pants pocket for a wad of
tickets.
EXT. CARL'S JR. - NIGHT
At the other end of the mall is a neon-lit Carl's
Jr. Hamburger Restaurant. If Swenson's was the warm
up, this is the main attraction of the Ridgemont
Mall.
INT. CARL'S JR.
Back-to-school banners hang from the walls. Many
kids are lined up at the counters. In the middle of
the kitchen, directing all the orders, is a
seventeen year old named Brad. He moves
confidently, observing the fryer, checking cup
supply, and giving an affectionate squeeze to a
pretty cashier named Lisa. She lets him kiss her,
but only once.
A teenage Customer shouts to Brad from the front
counter.
CUSTOMER
Hey Brad! I waited till you came
on! I wanted your fries.
Brad smiles, walks over to the fryer and discards
the fries left from the previous shift. He shouts
to the other employees as he puts in a new batch,
"his" batch.
BRAD
We need fifteen Superstars, David!
FELLOW EMPLOYEE #1
Okay, Brad!
BRAD
I'll take care of the fry orders!
Just get me the Superstars!
FELLOW EMPLOYEE #2
Fish sandwiches!
Brad spots three surfers sitting in the dining
area. None of them are wearing shirts.
BRAD
Hey you guys! You had shirts on
when you came in here.
ANGLE ON THE MAIN SURFER
a bleary kid sitting at the head of the table. He
runs a hand through his long, stringy blond hair.
After a time, he speaks.
SPICOLI
Something happened to them, mon.
BRAD
Come on, Spicoli. Why don't you
just put your shirts back on? See
the sign?
ANGLE ON HANDWRITTEN SIGN IN WINDOW
that reads: "No Shirts, No Shoes, No Dice"
INT. CARL'S JR.
A store manager, Dennis Taylor, bustles up to Brad.
DENNIS
Any problems?
BRAD
No, just a couple of surfers with
no shirts on. I took care of it,
Dennis.
ANGLE ON SURFERS
grumbling, putting shirts back on. It pains them.
Dennis heads back to his office when he sees
something in the trash bin.
DENNIS
Did you throw away those fries,
Hamilton?
BRAD
They were left over from the last
shift.
DENNIS
Those were perfectly good fries,
Hamilton.
(glares at Brad)
Perfectly good.
BRAD
But they weren't mine.
Brad laughs, goes back to work.
INT. MALL - LATE NIGHT
It is closed and only a few janitors remain. Stacy
and Linda walk through the large empty mall.
STACY
He gave me his card.
(lovingly)
'Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant.'
LINDA
(amused)
Should we buy a frame for that?
STACY
Come on, Linda, I haven't had a
boyfriend all summer. You promised
when I started working at the mall
that my life would change... Do you
think he'll call this week?
LINDA
Listen, Stace, you want to know
about guys? I'll tell you. They're
mostly chicken. Before I met Doug I
chased after every guy I thought
was cute. I thought if I gave out a
vibe they'd get the message and
call me up. Well, guess what? They
don't call.
STACY
So what did you do?
LINDA
I called them. If I was sitting
next to a guy and I wanted to sit
closer, I'd sit closer. If I wanted
to kiss him, I'd just do it. You
want Ron Johnson? Grab him.
STACY
I can't do that.
They pass a janitor cleaning graffiti that says:
LINCOLN SURF NAZIS and MAGGOT LUST FOR THE DUST.
LINDA
Face it. With some guys you have to
make the first move. A lot of guys
are just... wussies.
STACY
Really?
LINDA
Stacy, what are you waiting for?
You're fifteen. I did it when I was
thirteen. It's no huge thing. It's
just sex. If you don't, one of the
other girls will.
STACY
(cute)
He was hot, wasn't he?
LINDA
If I didn't have a fiance in
Chicago, I'd go for it.
A young Girl runs and catches up with Linda and
Stacy.
GIRL
(breathless)
Are you Linda Barrett?
LINDA
Yes.
GIRL
I'm Carrie Frazier from Toys 'R Us.
Judy Hinton from May Company told
me I could ask you something.
Linda nods.
GIRL (CONT'D)
I have this situation with my
boyfriend, and I wanted to...
(looks at Stacy, then
whispers in Linda's ear)
Linda listens thoughtfully, then clicks into her
"sex expert" mode.
LINDA
Okay, are you over sixteen?
The Girl nods.
LINDA (CONT'D)
All right, what you want to do is
go to the Free Clinic and tell the
doctor that you have sex regularly
- several times a week -- and that
you need Nornel One Plus Fifty's.
GIRL
And they don't call my parents?
LINDA
Not if you're over sixteen.
GIRL
Okay. Thanks a lot, Linda.
LINDA
And don't let them talk you into a
diaphragm either.
The Girl thanks Linda again. Linda and Stacy get to
the back exit of the mall and Linda uses a key to
open the door.
STACY
I can't believe I start high school
tomorrow.
LINDA
Believe it.
They exit the mall, into the night.
EXT. RIDGEMONT SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
We see all the elements of the first day of school.
The students carry new books, explore new lockers,
begin to stake out their ground.
Someone has taken the steel letters from the green
vanguard out front. It reads: "IDG MON SENOR HI
HO."
The rest of Ridgemont High is covered with toilet
paper. And a black spray paint message along the
side of the front office building reads, "LINCOLN
SURF NAZIS."
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY
Brad pulls into the Ridgemont High parking lot. He
drives a beat-up, four-door model LTD sedan. Three
friends wait for him near his parking space.
They are dressed in the same golf caps with brand
logos on the front like CAT, NATIONAL and CHAINSAW.
BUDDY #1
Hamilton!
BUDDY #2
The cruising vessel! Hey -- Yooooo!
Brad climbs out of his car and pats it admiringly.
BRAD
Six more payments, gentlemen.
Brad joins his friends, and they walk towards the
gymnasium.
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT
We see a shiny, new, blue Mustang whip into the
parking lot. Students scatter from the parking
space. Behind the wheel is football star Charles
Jefferson. A huge, black kid. The halls at
Ridgemont part for Charles Jefferson.
Rat and Damone are in the parking lot. Damone
surrounded by underclassmen (customers) selling
tickets.
DAMONE
See that Mustang? U.C.L.A. gave
Charles Jefferson that car when he
was a sophomore.
The underclassmen are impressed. They watch as
Jefferson opens his car door and stands to his full
height, over six-foot tall. He opens his trunk and
pulls out no books, just a football duffel bag. He
slowly walks by Damone, Rat and the underclassmen.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
How ya doing! That car looks great,
Charles!
Jefferson gives Damone a death glare.
JEFFERSON
Don't... fuck... with... it.
He moves on. Damone resumes selling tickets.
DAMONE
Shit, that's my man.
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT
We see a clutching, smooching couple walk by.
Cheerleader Cindy Carr and her boyfriend, Gregg
Adams.
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY
The Four Stoners (from Carl's Jr.) tumble out of a
van in the parking lot. They head towards the
gymnasium.
INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - DAY
Standing by the A-B-C-D-E registration counter in
the gymnasium, Brad waits to pick up his red ad
card. He stands surrounded by his buddies. They nod
vigorously at everything Brad says. As he talks,
fellow students all say hello or pat him as they
pass.
One troubled-looking boy, Arnold, walks up to Brad.
ARNOLD
Brad, can I talk to you a minute?
BRAD
Arnold. What's happening?
Arnold speaks confidentially to Brad.
ARNOLD
Brad, I really fuckin' hate
McDonald's, man. Ever since they
started in with the chicken,
everything went downhill.
BRAD
You want to work at Carl's?
ARNOLD
Oh, man, if you could swing
something there, I'd do anything
for you. I want to work with you
guys.
BRAD
I can probably get you in there.
Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.
ARNOLD
All right!!
Brad notices Stacy and nods with complete inner
cool.
STACY
Hi, Brad.
BRAD
Sis.
BRAD'S BUDDIES
Hey, Stacy.
STACY
Hi... Where's Lisa?
BRAD
Everyone wants to know where Lisa
is. How should I know where Lisa
is?
(to buddies)
What am I gonna do? Now my little
sister goes to the same high
school. The party's over.
(to Stacy)
So who do you have first period?
STACY
U.S. History. Mr. Hand.
BRAD
Hey-yo.
DAVID
Hey-yoooooooooo.
STACY
(concerned)
What's wrong with Mr. Hand?
BRAD
Nothing... if you like 'Hawaii Five
O.' You better get in class, Stacy.
That's not the one to be late to.
Stacy hurries off.
RICH
(as soon as she is gone)
Your sister is really turning into
a fox.
BRAD
You should see her in the morning.
BRAD'S BUDDIES
Hey-yooooooooooo.
INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY
Stacy barely slips in the door before the final
attendance bell sounds. She finds a seat just as
the teacher's cubicle door opens at the back of the
classroom. A tall figure comes barreling down the
aisle. He is Mr. Hand. The man makes a double-speed
step to the door at the front of the class, kicks
the door shut and locks it. The windows rattle in
their frames. Stacy watches, wide-eyed, at her
first high school class.
MR. HAND
Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.
Mr. Hand writes his name on the green chalkboard
before his class. Every letter is a small explosion
of chalk.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
(almost sweetly)
I have but one question for you on
our first morning 'together.'
(pause)
Can you attend my class? Pakalo?...
Understand?... History has proven
us one basic fact. Man does not do
anything that is not for his own
good. It is for your own good that
you attend my class. And if you
can't make it... I can make you.
An impatient knock begins at the front door of the
classroom.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
We have a twenty-question quiz
every Friday. It will cover all the
material we've dealt with during
the week. There will be no make-up
exams. It's important that you all
have your Land of Truth and Liberty
textbooks by Wednesday. At the
latest.
The knock continues.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Your grade is the average of all
your quizzes, plus the midterm and
final, which counts for one-third.
Got it?
The mystery knocker tries a lazy calypso beat on
the front door. No one in Mr. Hand's U.S. History
class dares mention it, much less answer it.
Stacy grips her desk with the tension of her first
day.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Also. There will be no eating in
this class. You get used to doing
your own business on your own time.
That's one demand I make. I don't
like staying after class with you
on detention. That's my time. I
don't like wasting it. Just like
you wouldn't want me to come to
your house some evening and discuss
U.S. History on your time. Pakalo?
Hand finally turns, as if he has just noticed the
sound at the door and opens the door an inch.
Jeffrey Spicoli stands in the doorway, red eyes
glistening. His long, blond hair is still wet and
streaming down the back of his white peasant shirt.
He grins, oblivious to such trivial matters as
attendance bells. A Student sitting near Stacy
turns to his friends.
STUDENT
That guy has been stoned since the
third grade.
MR. HAND
Yes?
SPICOLI
Yeah. I'm registered for this
class.
MR. HAND
What class?
SPICOLI
This is U.S. History, right? I saw
the globe in the window.
MR. HAND
(appears enthralled)
Really?
Spicoli holds his red ad card up to the crack in
the door.
SPICOLI
Can I come in?
MR. HAND
(swinging door open)
Oh, please. I get so lonely when
that third attendance bell rings
and I don't see all my kids here.
Spicoli laughs. He is the only one.
SPICOLI
Sorry I'm late. This new schedule
is totally confusing.
Mr. Hand takes the red ad card and reads from it
with utter fascination.
MR. HAND
Mr. Spicoli?
SPICOLI
That's the name they gave me.
Mr. Hand slowly tears the card into little pieces
and sprinkles the pieces over his wastebasket.
Spicoli watches in disbelief. His hands are frozen
in the process of removing his backpack.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
You just ripped my card in two!
MR. HAND
Yes.
SPICOLI
Hey, bud. What's your problem?
Mr. Hand moves to within inches of Spicoli's face.
MR. HAND
No problem at all. I think you know
where the front office is.
It takes a moment for the words to work their way
out of Jeff Spicoli's mouth.
SPICOLI
You... dick.
In the tense moment that follows, no one in the
class is sure what might happen.
Mr. Hand simply turns away from Jeff Spicoli as if
he ceased to exist and coolly continues his
lecture.
MR. HAND
I've taken the time to print up a
complete schedule of class quizzes,
and the chapters they cover. Please
pass them back to the desks behind
you...
Hand begins passing out stacks of purple
mimeographed sheets.
ANGLE ON STUDENTS
all smelling the purple mimeographed sheets.
Still standing in the doorway, hyperventilating
with fifteen-year-old adrenalin, is Jeff Spicoli.
After a time, he fishes a few bits of his ad card
out of the wastebasket and huffs out of the room.
EXT. RIDGEMONT LUNCH COURT - AFTERNOON
It's packed. The school's outdoor dining area is
actually just a small courtyard lined with fast
food machines and dominated by a large oak tree in
the center. Standing at the center of lunch court,
under the large oak tree, is Brad Hamilton and his
golf-cap Buddies.
BRAD
You hear about the surfer in Mr.
Hand's class?
His Buddies shake their heads.
BRAD (CONT'D)
Told Hand to fuck off.
BRAD'S BUDDIES
Whoa!_
Brad sees another friend pass through lunch court.
BRAD
Thompson!
Brad waits for him to pass.
BRAD (CONT'D)
I hear Thompson got canned at Bob's
this summer.
BUDDY #1
Yeah. They hacked his hours, so he
quit.
BRAD
Where is he now?
BUDDY #1
Making two eighty at Seven-Eleven.
BRAD
Man.
(pause)
They make you wear a fuckin' candy
stripe suit over there.
BUDDY #2
Poor guy.
BRAD
Poor guy.
EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON THE 200 BUILDING
BATHROOM
near the outer rim of lunch court. Jeff Spicoli
comes stumbling out into the daylight, surrounded
by a small group of Ridgemont Stoners. Marijuana
smoke billows out behind them.
STONER BUDDY #1
It was so bitchin', mon. Everybody
is talking about it.
STONER BUDDY #2
Totally.
SPICOLI
The motherfucker pissed me off.
STONER BUDDY #2
Totally. You don't have to take
that shit.
SPICOLI
I didn't take that shit.
They all laugh, flip hair out of their eyes.
STONER BUDDY #1
Tell us again. What happened after
he ripped up your ad card?
SPICOLI
I called him a dick. And then I
reached for his class notes, and I
ripped 'em up. I said, 'Hey bud.
Two can play this game.'
The Stoners go wild.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
I'll tell you this. If he hassles
me again, I can't be responsible
for what happens... you know why?
STONER BUDDY #1
Because he's a fuckin' dick!
SPICOLI
You got it.
(pause)
Gimme a dollar.
One surfer digs out a dollar for Spicoli. They look
out at lunch court, see it teeming with straight
kids. They turn and walk towards the parking lot.
EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON STACY AND LINDA
as they walk onto lunch court. They take a seat on
the outskirts of the area and watch all the
students crowding onto the eating area.
LINDA
I hear some surfer pulled a knife
on Mr. Hand this morning.
STACY
No way! He just called him a dick.
LINDA
God. People exaggerate so much at
this school.
The school couple, Cindy and Gregg walk by.
CINDY
Hi, Linda. God, you look so great.
LINDA
Hi, you guys. This is Stacy. Stacy,
this is Gregg Adams and Cindy Carr.
GREGG AND CINDY
Hi, Stacy.
Stacy smiles. Gregg and Cindy move on, repeating
the same scene a few feet away.
LINDA
If there's one thing that never
changes... it's a cheerleader.
Stacy turns to see a girl with short, black hair
passing by, wearing tight black spandex pants, and
dark lipstick.
STACY
Linda. That girl looks just like
Pat Benatar.
LINDA
I know.
They watch her pass.
LINDA (CONT'D)
Actually, there are three girls at
Ridgemont who have cultivated the
Pat Benatar look.
Linda gestures out on lunch court.
ANGLE ON ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE
wearing pink spandex pants and short-cropped black
hair with dark lipstick.
ANGLE ON STILL ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE
wearing blue spandex pants and short black hair.
She stands a good distance away from the other two.
LINDA (CONT'D)
None of them talk to each other.
Linda looks at them with bemusement but Stacy is
wondering.
STACY
Do you think guys find that
attractive?
LINDA
Oh, give me a break, Stacy. You're
much prettier than them.
They sit and eat their lunches. Linda has her
perennial diet lunch of yogurt and raw vegetables.
STACY
Yeah but they look more
sophisticated. You'd probably think
they'd be better in bed.
LINDA
What do you mean 'better in bed.'
You either do it or you don't.
STACY
No there are variables that, like,
I might not be good at.
LINDA
What variables?
STACY
(shyly)
Like, you know, giving blow jobs.
LINDA
What's the big deal?
STACY
Well I never did it.
LINDA
There's nothing to it.
She takes out a carrot stick and eases it down her
throat. Stacv tries one but chokes.
LINDA (CONT'D)
You just have to practice a little
first.
(feels her throat)
Relax these muscles. Think of your
throat as an open tunnel.
The girls try sliding the carrot sticks down their
throats without gagging.
ANGLE ON A BOY
at the next table; sees them and points them out to
his companions.
STACY
What happens... don't laugh at me,
but when a guy has an orgasm... you
know, like, how much comes out.
Stacy stops practicing and looks horrified. Linda
laughs.
LINDA
Just kidding. About 10cc.
STACY
(enlightened)
Oh! That's where that group got its
name from.
They continue practicing as the boys look on. Stacy
manages to get almost a whole carrot down her
throat to Linda's amazement.
The group of boys break out in applause.
Stacy looks very embarrassed.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB - DAY
The class is situated so that all students sit at
Bunson burner tables lining the room.
Pat is seated at one of the tables and Stacy takes
a seat nearby; she looks at the ledge in front of
her. It contains a pig embryo. She listens to the
conversation next to her.
GIRL STUDENT
I'll tell you right now. I'm not
going. I'll get sick or something.
I'm not going into a room with a
bunch of dead guys.
ARNOLD
You'll go. It's part of the final.
GIRL STUDENT
(a Pat Benatar)
Have you heard what they do? I'm
serious. Have you heard?
BOY STUDENT
What?
ARNOLD
The bodies are dissected, Mike, and
Mr. Vargas pulls out parts of the
dead body and holds them up. Okay?
BOY STUDENT
You mean he reaches in and pulls
this stuff out?
GIRL STUDENT
Yes.
BOY STUDENT
Like a heart?
GIRL STUDENT
Hearts, lungs, guts...
Stacy strains to hear more, just as Mr. Vargas -- a
diminutive man holding a coffee mug -- enters the
class.
MR. VARGAS
Good day, everyone! I just switched
to Sanka. I'm running a little slow
today, so have a heart.
ANGLE ON THE RAT
He is riveted on Stacy Hamilton, swooning.
DISSOLVE
TO:
INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT
We see Stacy's room, a young girl's room with
posters and frilly pillows. Stacy is in bed, and
her Mother is just leaving the room.
MOTHER
Sleep tight, Stacy.
STACY
Good night, Mom.
Her Mother shuts off the light, exits. Stacy pulls
back the covers. She is fully dressed.
EXT. STACY'S WINDOW - NIGHT
We see the window to Stacy's room slide slowly
open, and watch her slip outside. She hikes down a
drainage pipe to the street.
EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT
A brown MG pulls up. Stacy jumps from the shadows
and hops in. The car drives away.
INT. RON'S CAR - NIGHT
Ron sits behind the wheel, humming casually along
to the music on his car stereo.
Ron has on a light-brown leather jacket. He looks
like a contestant for "The Dating Game."
STACY
(a little nervous)
Thanks for picking me up.
RON
No problem.
He speeds off, turning up the radio to sing along.
RON (CONT'D)
'The Cuer-vo Gold, the fi-ine
Columbian.'
(eyes Stacy)
You look nice tonight.
STACY
Thanks. So do you.
RON
Where do you feel like going?
STACY
I don't know. Wherever you want.
RON
How about the point?
STACY
(nervously)
The point sounds fine.
RON
(looks at her knowingly)
All right, the point it is.
We see Stacy's anxious face, as the car speeds up
Ridgemont Drive, with music.
EXT. THE POINT - NIGHT
Stacy and Ron sit in the car, listening to music.
The "point" is a natural lookout spot that lovers
can "discover." It is behind the baseball field and
dugout of Ridgemont High School.
Stacy and Ron get out of the car and walk to the
baseball dugout.
INT. DUGOUT - NIGHT
They sit side-by-side. Above them, a single light
bulb shines a very private fifty watts on things.
STACY
That's a nice shirt.
RON
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Silence. They look at each other, look away.
RON (CONT'D)
It's very warm out tonight.
STACY
It is. It's very warm. I wonder how
long it will last?
Ron leans over and kisses Stacy lightly on the
cheek. Stacy sits quietly for a moment, thinking,
was that the first move? Then she lunges at Ron and
kisses him square on the mouth. At first surprised,
Ron then holds her there and kisses her in return.
After a time, he breaks away.
RON
Are you really nineteen?
STACY
Yes... I am really nineteen.
They continue making out.
RON
I think I better take you home.
STACY
What about those other guys you
live with?
RON
No. I mean back to your home.
But they make no moves in any direction. They
continue making out. Ron begins unbuttoning her
blouse and massaging Stacy's breasts. A moment
later, he tugs at her pants. Awkwardly, she starts
to help him. He tilts her backward onto the
concrete dugout bench. They kiss feverishly, her
hand pulling off her shoes, then her pants. Ron
goes to work.
RON (CONT'D)
(whispers)
Is this your first time?
STACY
Yes.
STACY'S POINT OF VIEW
as she feels a man enter her for the first time, we
see the graffiti above her:
Surf Nazis
Lincoln was here -- Sieg Heil
Led Zeppelin
Dan y Roberto (Disco Fags)
DISSOLVE
TO:
EXT. SCHOOL LOCKERS - DAY
Stacy is standing by her locker, twirling the
combination. She is joined by Linda Barrett.
LINDA
Was it great?
STACY
It was okay.
I LINDA
You'll always remember your first
time.
STACY
It was nice.
LINDA
So tell me, do you like Ron? Is it
serious?
STACY
Come on, Linda. It's just sex.
LINDA
Hey! That's my line!
They both laugh and walk down the hall.
EXT. HAMILTON HOME - LATE AFTERNOON
Stacy arrives home. The Hamilton home has that
anonymous prepackaged tract look, like many others
in this lower-middle class neighborhood.
Brad washes his car in the driveway and listens to
the car radio.
BRAD
Mom says to clean up the pool.
STACY
Why can't you do it?
BRAD
Your friends use the pool. Your
friends messed it up.
STACY
Your friends use the pool too.
BRAD
I take out the garbage.
STACY
Don't strain yourself.
Stacy bristles, and heads inside the front door.
INT. HAMILTON LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON
The furniture in the Hamilton living room looks
like it was gleaned for a sale at Pic 'N Save.
Through the living room, one can see a very small,
kidney-shaped pool.
Stacy checks an erasable telephone message sheet
near the refrigerator. There are two names on it:
BRAD/STACY. Brad's side is filled with messages.
Stacy's is empty.
She notices a summer bouquet floral arrangement.
Stacy reads the attached note. It reads: "Memories
of You, Ron Johnson." She quickly gathers it up and
carries it back outside. She fans the door several
times to dispel the odor.
EXT. HAMILTON DRIVEWAY - AFTERNOON
STACY
Brad! Have Mom or Dad seen this?
BRAD
They're not home yet.
STACY
Brad, what would you say if I asked
you to just put these flowers in
the trunk of the Cruising Vessel
and get rid of them at work?
BRAD
I'd say... who the hell is Ron
Johnson?
STACY
I'll explain everything later.
Brad nods, as Stacy pushes the flowers into his
arms.
INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON
Damone expertly fills two glasses three-quarters
full of Kahlua, then adds a few drops of milk.
Music is playing on a nearby speaker. Damone hands
The Rat a drink and checks himself out in his
mirror.
DAMONE
See that moustache coming in, Rat?
There is only a hint of peach fuzz, but he grooms
it anyway.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
See? You can almost press it out.
Damone turns around. His friend is preoccupied.
THE RAT
I am in love.
Damone takes a sip of his drink, looks at The Rat.
DAMONE
You... are a wuss. Part wimp. Part
pussy.
THE RAT
What do you mean -- wuss? This girl
is my exact type. It's her.
Definitely her.
DAMONE
(distracted)
It's definitely your mama.
THE RAT
Damone, you gotta listen to me.
Damone quits puttering around his room with the
Kahlua and milk. He grabs a chair and straddles it.
DAMONE
All right... where did you see her?
THE RAT
She's in my biology class.
DAMONE
Did you get her number?
THE RAT
No.
DAMONE
Did you get her name?
THE RAT
No. It's too soon.
DAMONE
It's never too soon! Girls decide
how far to let you go in the first
five minutes.
THE RAT
Well, what do you want me to do? Go
up to this strange girl in my
biology class and say, 'Hello! I'd
like you to take your clothes off
and jump on me?'
DAMONE
(thoughtfully)
I would. Yeah.
THE RAT
Really?
DAMONE
I can see it all now. This is going
to be just like the girl you fell
in love with at Fotomat this
summer. You bought forty bucks of
fuckin' film and you never even
talked to her.
THE RAT
(woeful)
You tell me, Mike. What do I do?
DAMONE
Okay. Okay.
(sighs, but loves it)
Here's what you do.
Damone gets up, moves to the door.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
You start from the second you walk
into biology. Don't just walk...
move across the room.
He saunters over to the chair.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
Don't talk to her. Let her know.
Use your face. Use your body. Use
everything. This is what I do. I
just sent out the vibe and I have
personally found that... girls do
respond. Something happens.
THE RAT
Of course something happens. You
put the vibe out to thirty million
chicks, you know something's gonna
happen.
DAMONE
That's the idea, Rat. That's The
Attitude.
THE RAT
The Attitude? The Attitude dictates
that you don't care if she comes,
stays, lays or prays. Whatever
happens, your toes are still
tappin'.
When you are the cruelest and the
coolest... then you have The
Attitude.
Damone knocks down the rest of his drink, and we...
DISSOLVE
TO:
INT. CARL'S JR. KITCHEN - NIGHT
We see Brad operating at full throttle in the
kitchen, and taking a moment to sneak a kiss with
his girlfriend Lisa as she goes to the front
counter to open up a cash register. She allows him
only one kiss.
LISA
Were those flowers really for me,
Brad?
BRAD
Of course.
LISA
How much did they cost?
BRAD
Don't worry about it.
She gives him a kiss... on the cheek.
BRAD (CONT'D)
Let's go to the Point tonight.
She pulls away.
LISA
What's there to do at the Point?
Brad shifts his weight, tries to find the right
words.
BRAD
What's there to do at the Point?
God, Lisa, we've been going
together almost two years, and...
LISA
Brad. I don't want to have to use
sex as a tool.
BRAD
Tool? Tool for what? We've been
going together almost two years!
LISA
I don't want to talk about it here,
Brad.
Brad prepares to respond. He squints his eyes,
prepares for a truly sizzling comeback, when Dennis
Taylor, short and prematurely balding assistant
manager of Carl's Jr., comes bustling out of his
back office. He quickly surveys the situation in
the kitchen.
TAYLOR
Hamilton! You have fifteen double
cheese to box!
Lisa returns to her cashier post, leaving Brad's
last words stalled in his mouth.
EXT. HAMILTON HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT
We see the Hamilton's cul-de-sac home. All the
lights are off in the house at this hour. Except
for Brad's room.
INT. BRAD'S ROOM
Brad is alone in his room. He's prone on his neatly
made bed, reading a paperback book entitled Power
With Class. On the wall of Brad's room is a large
framed photo of a Carl's Jr. hamburger.
Brad hears a muffled knock at his door.
BRAD
Come on in.
Stacy walks into Brad's room.
STACY
Thanks for getting rid of those
flowers.
BRAD
Don't worry about it. Who sent the
flowers?
STACY
It's just some guy I met at
Swenson's. You don't know him.
BRAD
I don't care it you tell me or not.
I got problems of my own.
He begins pacing.
STACY
Is everything okay at work?
BRAD
Are you kidding? Work is great. I
kill at work. I don't even mind Mom
and Dad making me pay rent.
STACY
You're going to break up with Lisa,
aren't you?
BRAD
I've been doing some thinking. It's
my last school year. I'm a single,
successful guy. I think I want my
freedom.
STACY
Why? Because she won't sleep with
you?
BRAD
Where did you hear that?
STACY
I'm just guessing.
BRAD
Well... it's true.
STACY
Maybe you just need to give her
some time. She's so nice, Brad.
Everybody loves Lisa.
BRAD
Everybody loves Lisa. Everybody
loves Lisa. But everybody doesn't
have to be her boyfriend.
Suddenly, Stacy pops the question.
STACY
Hey, Brad. Are you still a virgin?
BRAD
Why?
STACY
I don't know. I was just curious.
BRAD
Maybe yes. Maybe no.
STACY
You are a virgin!
BRAD
I didn't say that.
STACY
But your face did!
They laugh. Then Brad turns serious.
BRAD
Are you still a virgin?
STACY
Maybe yes. Maybe no.
BRAD
Don't give me that shit! I know
you're still a virgin!
Stacy smiles and stands up. She playfully slaps her
brother on the arm and walks down the hallway to
her room. We can see there is less frill and lace
in Stacy's room. The junior high paperbacks are
gone. There are no dolls in sight.
EXT. MALL PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Linda and Stacy walk past rows of cars. Stacy stops
at a brown MG.
STACY
There... There's his car. I know
he's at work tonight. He hasn't
come into Swenson's since he called
my house. My mother told him I was
still at high school, after I told
him I was nineteen. I guess I
should tell him I'm fifteen.
LINDA
Don't you dare, you'll never hear
from him again.
STACY
Does Doug care that you're
seventeen?
LINDA
Doug sees beyond that stuff to what
the person inside is like. That's
why I'm marrying him.
STACY
If he ever calls again I'll say I'm
eighteen.
LINDA
Boy I am so glad to be through with
all these games.
They enter the mall.
INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - MORNING
We are now several weeks into the school year. Mr.
Hand is dropping test papers on desks like they are
pieces of manure.
MR. HAND
C... D... F... F... F... three
weeks we've been talking about the
Platt Amendment. What are you
people? On dope? A piece of
legislation was introduced into
Congress by Senator John Platt. It
was passed in 1906. This amendment
to our Constitution has a profound
impact upon all of our daily
liv....
Mr. Hand stops on a dime. He is like a champion
hunting dog that has just picked up the scent. He
scans the room.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Where is Jeff Spicoli?
There is silence in the U.S. history classroom.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
I saw him earlier today near the
200 Building bathrooms. Is he still
on campus?
Silence.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Anyone?
One student sitting next to Stacy raises his hand.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Yes, Desmond?
DESMOND
I saw him by the food machines.
MR. HAND
How long ago?
DESMOND
Just before class, sir...
Mr. Hand snaps his fingers, Hawaii Five-O style.
MR. HAND
Okay. Bring him in.
Desmond hustles out the door.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
What is this fascination with
truancy? What is it that gets
inside your heads?
Mr. Hand begins to pace the aisles as he speaks.
Occasionally, for emphasis, he bends down to
lecture directly into the students' faces.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
There are other teachers in this
school who look the other way at
truants.
(points to attendance clip
on the doorway)
It's a little game that you both
play. They pretend they don't see
you, you pretend you don't ditch.
Who pays the price later? You.
Desmond returns to the room with a red-eyed Jeff
Spicoli.
SPICOLI
Hey! Wait a minute! There's no
birthday party for me here!
MR. HAND
Thank you, Desmond.
(to Spicoli)
What's the reason for your truancy?
SPICOLI
I couldn't make it in time.
MR. HAND
(in top form)
You mean, you couldn't? Or you
wouldn't?
SPICOLI
I don't know, mon. The food lines
took forever.
MR. HAND
Food will be eaten on your time!
(pause)
Why are you continuously late for
this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you
shamelessly waste my time like
this?
SPICOLI
I don't know.
Mr. Hand appears mesmerized. He then turns and
heads for the board. He writes in long, large
letters as he slams the chalk into the green board.
He writes: "I DON'T KNOW".
MR. HAND
I like that.
He stands back and admires it. He turns randomly to
Stacy.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Don't you like that, Miss Hamilton?
STACY
Yes, sir.
MR. HAND
I really like that too. 'I don't
know'... that's nice. 'Mr. Hand,
will I pass this class?' 'Gee, Mr.
Spicoli, I don't know'. I like
that.
I think I'm going to leave your
words on this board for all my
classes to enjoy. Giving you full
credit, of course, Mr. Spicoli.
We hear the blare of the dismissal bell. Stacy and
the other students get up to leave. Spicoli stays
in place. He has just figured out a truly bitchin'
comeback... and his mouth is forming the first
word, when Mr. Hand cuts him off.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
You can go now.
Hand turns back to his desk. The rest of the
students have already left. Spicoli's audience is
gone. He shrugs and lopes out the door.
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - AFTERNOON
It's Christmas time at the Ridgemont Mall. All
three tiers are strung with neon lights, and we
hear the sound of the bell-ringing Santas.
INT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON
Stacy and Linda are enjoying a brief lull in the
Christmas season madness. They sit at the sundae
bar. Stacy looks forlorn, almost red-eyed, as she
makes a sundae.
LINDA
You've got to get used to working
Christmas. People are always
screaming and yelling... then they
get home and they're all
Christmasy.
STACY
I think Christmas brings out the
worst in people.
LINDA
I guess Ron hasn't called yet.
STACY
Not since November.
Linda nods her head, always the coach.
LINDA
Stacy, it doesn't look good for the
relationship.
Stacy continues making her ice cream, slapping the
scoops onto the stainless steel dish.
STACY
(sighs)
Don't you think it meant anything
to him. Even if I am fifteen?
LINDA
Stacy. What does it matter? He's a
stereo salesman. You want to marry
him? You want to have kids with
him? You want this guy to come
home, fifty years old, and he's
still got that little Pacific
Stereo badge on? Come on.
ANGLE ON GREGG AND CINDY
who are seated at a back table, feeding each other.
Stacy looks at her finished sundae.
STACY
I should quit this job. I'm going
to get so fat working here...
nobody will ever take me out.
LINDA
Stacy. How many times do I have to
tell you? You are really going to
be beautiful... someday.
STACY
Thanks a lot.
Linda punches Stacy lightly on the shoulder.
LINDA
Hey -- Ron Johnson? It's his loss.
We follow Stacy, as she walks into the dining room
to serve the sundae.
INT. WHEREHOUSE RECORDS - MALL - DAY
We see a group of buzz-cut young toughs, walking in
formation, hunched over, sneering and wearing
sleeveless U.S. Army fatigue jackets. None of these
damaged-looking kids is over the age of fourteen.
They pass to reveal this legend on their backs:
LINCOLN SURF NAZIS.
Angle on Mike Damone and Mark Ratner, who are
standing by the upcoming concert list posted on the
door to Wherehouse Records. Damone sees the Surf
Nazis pass, turns to Mark Ratner, who is still
wearing his Cinema Four jacket.
DAMONE
The business is changing, Rat. I'll
tell you, these kids today... they
don't even listen to Aerosmith.
THE RAT
I hear they all dress like that at
Lincoln now.
DAMONE
There used to be three or four of
those guys. Now we see 'em every
time we come to the mall.
Damone is approached by a couple of young ticket
Customers.
CUSTOMER #1
Got any Blue Oyster Cult tickets?
DAMONE
No Cult. I ate twenty-four pairs of
Blue Oyster Cult tickets last time
around. I was this close to working
at 7-11. No Cult.
Suddenly we see all ticket business stop. Damone
and his customers see someone menacingly coming
directly for them. The small crowd parts as Charles
Jefferson, football duffel bag in hand, walks up.
With him is a thick, tough, miniature version of
himself. This is Little Charles. They both stop in
front of Damone.
JEFFERSON
(after long look)
When is Earth, Wind and Fire
coming?
DAMONE
(respectfully)
I'm really not sure. I haven't
heard anything yet, but I'll let
you know the second there is the
slightest news, sir.
JEFFERSON
I'm taking my little brother.
DAMONE
Excellent. So that will be two
tickets... All right. Fine, sir.
Jefferson and L.C. push past the customers.
CUSTOMER #2
Wow. He really lives here. I
thought he just flew in for the
football games.
DAMONE
(gaining composure)
Shit, he's my man. He knows where
to come for tickets.
Damone turns to The Rat.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
Well, Rat. Are you ready for the
moment of truth?
The Rat adjusts his jacket, and nods.
THE RAT
She is immune to my charms.
They walk together towards Swenson's, as The Rat
drapes his aqua-blue Cinema Four jacket around his
shoulders, like a French film director. Damone
walks a few steps, then stops Rat.
DAMONE
Hey, Rat.
THE RAT
Yeah?
DAMONE
Ace the jacket.
The Rat considers the suggestion, gets rid of the
jacket. They continue towards Swenson's.
EXT. SWENSON'S - DAY
The Rat pulls open the door to Swenson's. He walks
toward the counter to Stacy Hamilton.
STACY
Hi. May I help you?
The Rat feels the beginnings of cold panic, but
barges through nonetheless.
THE RAT
Yes. I have two questions. I was
curious...
His voice becomes a shade deeper. He begins to pull
The Attitude together.
THE RAT (CONT'D)
What do you do with the jackets
people leave here?
STACY
(smiling)
We keep them.
THE RAT
You keep them.
STACY
We keep them, in case the people
come back.
She reaches under the counter and pulls out a
cardboard box with some rumbled jackets and other
items.
STACY (CONT'D)
Here they are. You can look through
it, if you want.
The Rat chuckles to himself, struggling with The
Attitude.
THE RAT
It's cool. It would take too much
time to go through all that stuff.
I'll just pick up a new one.
Stacy smiles. He's obviously awkward, and she likes
it.
STACY
What's your other question?
THE RAT
My other question is... can-I-have
your-phone-number-so-I-can-ask-you
out-sometime?
To The Rat's surprise, Stacy continues smiling.
STACY
Do you have a pen? This one's out
of ink.
THE RAT
Oh... yes.
He pulls one out of his jacket pocket, gives it to
her. Stacy writes her name and phone number on a
scrap of paper and gives it to him. The Rat looks
at the paper.
THE RAT (CONT'D)
Stacy. Nice to meet you, Stacy. My
name is Mark Ratner.
He sticks out his hand, and they shake. We see The
Rat turn around and walk out of Swenson's.
EXT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON
The Rat exits with ultimate cool. He sees Damone
waiting just off to the side, talking to some
girls. The Rat nods, gives him the thumbs-up.
Damone returns the gesture. All-Attitude.
EXT. CARL'S JR. - MORNING
Carl's is happening tonight. There are lots of kids
inside. We hear charging rock music -- "Girls Got
Rhythm" by AC/DC -- coming from a radio in the back
kitchen.
INT. CARL'S JR. BATHROOM - MORNING
Inside the bathroom, Brad Hamilton applies the
Carl's scrub brush to a felt tip graffiti message
near the mirror: I EAT BIG HAIRY PUSSY. He pauses
and catches himself in the mirror. He adjusts his
hair.
BRAD
(talking to mirror)
Lisa? I have something to tell you.
Look, I'm a senior now.
I'm a single, successful guy and
I've got to be fair to myself.
Lisa... I think I need my freedom.
Brad pauses, looks at the mirror soulfully.
BRAD (CONT'D)
Aw, don't do that... don't take it
personally, okay? Please? I knew
you'd understand, because...
The bathroom door opens -- it's Arnold, the boy who
Brad got a job.
ARNOLD
Brad! I know you're on your break,
but would you cover me on register
three?
Brad nods, exits:
INT. CARL'S JR. COUNTER
Brad stands at the register.
We see a prominent display over Brad's head: TRY
OUR 100% GUARANTEED BREAKFAST. The last of many
harried businessmen customers gets his breakfast
order and takes his seat.
Brad is joined by Dennis Taylor, the Assistant
Manager.
DENNIS
Come on. Clean that counter off
Brad. Let's go. Play ball.
BRAD
Okay, Dennis.
Brad begins polishing the counter and Dennis Taylor
returns to his office at the back of the kitchen.
Brad watches him disappear behind the door that
says: ASSISTANT MANAGER.
As soon as Dennis disappears behind the door, the
one Businessman in the place rises and returns to
the counter.
BRAD (CONT'D)
(nervously)
May I help you?
The Businessman has short, curly brown hair. He
speaks in a whine.
BUSINESSMAN
Yes. This is not the best breakfast
I ever ate.
The Businessman points to the huge display over
Brad's head: TRY OUR 100% GUARANTEED BREAKFAST.
BUSINESSMAN (CONT'D)
And I want my money back.
Brad begins searching under the counter.
BRAD
Well, I believe you have to fill
out a form. There's a pad right
around here.
BUSINESSMAN
No. I want my money back right now.
BRAD
Well, that's not the way it works,
really. And you ate most of your
food already, too...
BUSINESSMAN
See that sign? It says 100% Money
Back Guarantee. Do you know the
meaning of the word 'guarantee'? Do
they teach you that here? Give me
my money back.
Brad begins looking to the restroom. "Where's
Arnold?"
BRAD
I can't do that. But if you wait a
minute...
BUSINESSMAN
(as if talking to a
kindergartner)
Look. Just put your little hand
back in the cash register and give
me my $2.75 back. Okay?
(looks at name tag)
Please, Brad?
BRAD
I'm sorry, sir. Just let me find
the forms here.
BUSINESSMAN
I am so tired. I am so tired of
dealing with morons. How hard is it
to...
Brad looks up from under the counter. No amount of
pay will make him take that kind of insult.
BRAD
Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm
gonna kick 100% of your ass.
BUSINESSMAN
Manager!!
"Bam!" The door to the Assistant Manager's office
swings open, and Dennis comes hurtling out of the
back.
DENNIS
Can I help you, sir? Is there a
problem?
BUSINESSMAN
You bet there's a problem! Your
employee used profanity and
threatened me with violence! I'm
shocked, frankly. I've eaten here
many times and I've always enjoyed
the service -- until today!
Angle on bathroom door as it opens and Arnold
starts towards the register. He quickly sees the
incident with the irate Businessman and ducks back
inside the bathroom.
BUSINESSMAN (CONT'D)
All I wanted was my money back for
this breakfast. It was a little
undercooked. And this young man
threatened me. Now I plan to write
a letter! I plan to...
Dennis wheels around to Brad.
DENNIS
Did you threaten this man or use
profanity in any way?
BRAD
He insulted me first. He called me
a moron.
DENNIS
Did you threaten this customer or
use profanity in any way?
BRAD
Yes, sir.
DENNIS
You're fired.
Brad looks around, expecting his friends to defend
him. Dave and Rich seem very occupied with their
work. Brad is stunned.
DENNIS (CONT'D)
(to Businessman)
I'm very sorry this happened to
you, sir.
BUSINESSMAN
Thank you very much.
Then Brad unhooks his fryer's apron and throws it
on the counter. He grabs a backpack and walks out
of the place. On the way, he bangs the bathroom
door with his fist.
BRAD
I hope you had a hell of a piss,
Arnold.
DISSOLVE
TO:
INT. BRAD'S ROOM - DAY
He arrives back in his room and locks the door. He
yanks the burger picture off his wall, dumps it
into the trash. Then he takes it back out of the
trash and cracks the cardboard picture and plastic
frame in half.
DARKNESS
We are in the middle of a deep, dark void. After a
moment, a pinprick of light appears in the
distance. We head towards the light. We are being
led somewhere important.
As we draw still closer, curtains suddenly part to
reveal a wildly cheering studio audience. We hear
the voice of Merv Griffin.
MERV GRIFFIN (O.S.)
Will you please give a warm welcome
to... Jeff Spicoli!
The Merv Griffin Show band begins playing a Merv
Griffin Show version of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell".
Someone hands Jeff Spicoli a microphone. He works
the studio audience into a frenzy as he sings the
words to "Highway to Hell": Merv Griffin show
style.
SPICOLI
(singing)
'Layin' ladies!
Drinkin' wine!
You gotta dollar --
You're a friend of mine!
Gettin' loose!
Feelin' fine!
You and me -- It's get down time!
We're on the Highway to Hell!
The Highway to Hell!'
Spicoli finishes up with a spectular pump. The
audience goes wild as Merv Griffin greets him
warmly, and guides Spicoli to his seat. Spicoli
motions for the cheers to die down. Griffin is
obviously happy to see him. He touches Spicoli's
arm lightly.
GRIFFIN
How've you been?
SPICOLI
Outrageous, Merv. Nice to be here.
I feel great.
GRIFFIN
I was going to say... your eyes
look a little red.
SPICOLI
I've been swimming, Merv.
The audience howls. It's a famous Spicoli line.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Seriously, Merv, everything is
great.
I was thinking about picking up
some hash this weekend, maybe going
up to the mountains.
GRIFFIN
(concerned)
I wanted to talk a little bit about
school, if I could...
SPICOLI
School.
(sighs)
School is no problem. All you have
to do is go to get the grades. And
if you know something, all you have
to do is go about half the time.
GRIFFIN
How often do you go?
SPICOLI
I don't go at all.
The audience is howling again. He is Merv's
favorite guest.
GRIFFIN
I hear you brought a film clip with
you. Do you want to set it up for
us?
SPICOLI
Well, it pretty much speaks for
itself. Peter, you want to run with
it?
EXT. A MASSIVE WAVE - DAY
The film clip begins. It is a mammoth wave cresting
against the blue sky.
SPICOLI (V.O.)
Merv, this is the action down at
Sunset Cliffs at about six in the
morning.
GRIFFIN (V.O.)
Fascinating.
A tiny figure appears at the foot of the wave.
GRIFFIN (CONT'D)
Who's that?
SPICOLI
That's me, Merv.
The audience gasps.
GRIFFIN (V.O.)
Are you going to ride that wave?
SPICOLI
Totally.
We watch as Spicoli catches the perfect wave, and
it hurtles him through a turquoise tube of water.
GRIFFIN
What's going through your mind
right here, Jeff? The danger of it
all?
SPICOLI
Merv, I'm thinking... I've only got
about four good hours of surfing
left before these little clowns
from junior high start showing up
with their boogie boards.
The audience is howling once again... when suddenly
we hear the loud noise of a door opening, followed
by a shrill voice. It is Spicoli's eight-year-old
brother, Curtis.
Jeff Spicoli's dream of glory evaporates.
INT. SPICOLI'S TRAILER HOME - MORNING
It is a messy trailer, part of a trailer park by
the sea. Spicoli's area is small, but he has made
it his own. The walls are covered with posters,
almost all of them naked centerfolds. It is obvious
Spicoli's parents are not welcome in his room.
CURTIS
Dad says you have to get up!
SPICOLI
Ugh.
He groans, starts to struggle out of bed.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Leave me alone!
CURTIS
Dad says you're late again, you
butthole!
SPICOLI
Leave me alone.
CURTIS
Dad says!
Spicoli reaches over to the floor next to his bed.
He pulls a snorkel from the mess, heaves it at the
door and his little brother. It bounces off the
wall and doesn't even hit Curtis, but the kid
starts crying anyway.
CURTIS (CONT'D)
Daaaaaaaad! Jeff threw a snorkel at
me!!!!!!
Spicoli gets out of bed, groans again, and kicks
the door shut.
EXT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM
celebrating the big game with rival Lincoln High
School. We see Jeff Spicoli stumble from the
direction of the parking lot. He heads into the
gym, which is already full for a mandatory
assembly.
INT. GYMNASIUM - DOORWAY - DAY
Spicoli wanders into the assembly, takes a seat on
a corner bleacher. He sits just below Brad Hamilton
and Lisa.
On podium in front of assembly, Cindy Carr and
another cheerleader, Dina Phillips, are making a
presentation before the school.
CINDY
I just want to say that we are not
'Spirit Bunnies' anymore. We always
hated that name. It bugged the heck
out of Dina and me...
DINA
It's just such a put down.
CINDY
They don't call the Chess Club
'Checker Champs' or anything like
that. We're going to go to
everything this year, you guys.
We're going to go to soccer,
wrestling, basketball...
everything. We know you've got a
lot of spirit! Everybody --
riiiiiight? And we're gonna destroy
Lincoln next week? Riiiiiiight?
ANGLE ON THE STUDENTS OF RIDGEMONT
They don't respond.
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
who is asleep in the bleachers.
ANGLE ON BRAD AND LISA
sitting nearby. We hear them over the drone of the
assembly.
BRAD
Man, I don't even want to see those
guys from Carl's again.
LISA
If you'd apologize I think Dennis
would take you back.
BRAD
Apologize to that wimp? No way.
Fuck Dennis Taylor.
They sit in silence for a moment.
BRAD (CONT'D)
I'm just glad we're still together,
Lisa, because I need you this year.
LISA
(sighs)
Look, Brad, I've been trying to
think of a way to tell you this.
We're almost out of high school,
this is our last year. I think we
owe it to ourselves to be free, and
meet some new people. Then, if we
get back together, we'll know it's
the right thing.
TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE
as he accepts the news.
LISA (O.S.) (CONT'D)
But I still want to be friends.
TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE
as it falls slack.
INT. GYM - PODIUM IN FRONT OF ASSEMBLY
CINDY
We're going to be going to every
game this year. We just want the
crowd to participate and we want
spirit from every little person in
this entire school. Allll-Riiiight?
There is unenthusiastic, minor applause from the
assembled students of Ridgemont High. Vice
Principal Ray Connors, a tough-looking man with an
H.R. Haldeman crew cut, approaches the podium. He
has a sour look on his face.
CONNORS
Well, thank you, girls. People,
don't forget, the big game is one
week away. We'll see everybody back
here on Monday and have a good
weekend.
For the first time during this assembly, there is a
loud and hearty applause.
A GRAINY HIGH SCHOOL FILM 57
We are suddenly watching a movie shown on a class
projection screen. We see footage of a serene,
middle-class neighborhood -- as seen through the
glass windshield of a car. Judging from the other
vehicles parked on the street, the film is from the
early Sixties. We hear the narrative voice of Desi
Arnaz, speaking in his inimitable Latin accent.
ARNAZ
Driving ess an important part of
each and every one of our da-ily
lives. Ees a responsibility like no
o-ther and ess a matter of life
and...
A ball comes rolling out into the serene street. A
small child runs out after it. The driving of our
vehicle brakes, but not in time. The film freeze
frames on the terrified face of a child about to be
splattered.
ARNAZ (CONT'D)
Death.
There is a swell of dramatic music.
ARNAZ (CONT'D)
They have foun'... The Braking
Point.
The words flash on the screen and we hear a high
school Driver's Training class groan in mock
horror.
INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS - DAY
ANGLE ON CHARLES JEFFERSON AND BRAD HAMILTON
who are seated in this class.
ANGLE ON LINDA AND STACY
sitting together in the class. They are oblivious,
lost in conversation.
STACY
What do you think of that guy who
works at the theatre? You know,
Mark Ratner.
LINDA
Oh, come on. What is he? Fifteen?
STACY
Sixteen.
Linda looks nauseous.
LINDA
Just watch out if he pulls up in a
van, and then puts on a Led
Zeppelin tape.
INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS
The film returns to another serene street scene as
seen through another front windshield.
ARNAZ
The driver here has had jus' two
drinks. Two drinks at the home of a
frien'.
We hear the very-present sounds of Driver's
Training students.
STUDENT #1
He's fucked-up, Ricky!
STUDENT #2
They guys a drunk, Ricky!
ARNAZ
And although this driver thinks he
ees drivin' well, he may be 'doing
okay, but he forgets to per-ceive
what ees real goin' on...
In the film, another car comes barreling from the
left, running a stop sign and exploding into the
side of the two-drink goner. In the class, the
Driver's Training students are howling.
EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - EARLY EVENING
The parking lot is full. Kids and shoppers stream
through the entrance in groups of all sizes.
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL
All three levels are teeming with kids.
ANGLE ON THE VIDEO PINBALL ARCADE
where we see Jeff Spicoli manning the Missile
Command machine. Spicoli wears a red bandana across
his forehead. A cigarette dangles from his mouth.
He is surrounded by a fleet of young surfers who
listen to him with reverence.
SPICOLI
Be noble. Be aggressive. The thing
about Missile Command is to
decimate before you can be
decimated. Just like in real life.
The youngsters hang on every word of the sage
advice.
ANGLE ON A GANG OF SURF NAZIS
walking in formation.
ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE AND MARK RATNER
walking the mall.
DAMONE
Check it out, Rat. The Surf
Nazis... out for a Sunday stroll.
Damone and The Rat walk on. The Rat is barely
interested. He appears deep in thought.
THE RAT
What do I say after she gets in the
car?
Damone, obviously in his element here at the mall,
stops to flash a winning smile at a well-built
older housewife.
DAMONE
No problem, Rat. What you need is
my special Five Point Plan.
As he talks, Damone passes a Country Farms shop. He
plucks a free sample of cheese and sausage.
THE RAT
Knock it off, Damone. I need real
help.
DAMONE
What do you mean? Men have died
trying to obtain this information.
I will give it to you for free.
The Rat and Damone continue on.
THE RAT
Okay. Tell me. What's the Five
Point Plan?
DAMONE
All right. Pay attention.
The Rat nods, always the student, as they pass a
Wherehouse Record store. Damone stops right in
front of a seductively posed life-sized cardboard
stand-up of Debbie Harry, the alluring rock singer.
Damone begins his speech.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
First of all, Rat... never let on
how much you like a girl.
Damone turns to the cardboard cutout of Debbie
Harry to demonstrate.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
(disinterested)
Oh. Hi.
(turns back to The Rat) )
Two. Always call the shots.
He turns to Debbie Harry, who looks on with an
inviting cardboard smile.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
Kiss me.
(to The Rat)
Three. Act like wherever you are,
that's the place to be.
(to Debbie Harry;
debonair) )
Isn't this great?
(to The Rat)
Four. When ordering food, find out
what she wants and then order for
both of you... it's a classy move.
(to Debbie Harry; Cary
Grant)
And the lady will have...
(to The Rat)
Five. And this is most important.
When you get down to making out,
whenever possible, put on the first
side of Led Zeppelin IV.
(to Debbie Harry;
seductive)
Why don't you put this tape on? It
sounds great in the back of my
van... why don't we listen from
there?
ANGLE ON DEBBIE HARRY
with the same inviting smile.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
And that is how you talk to a girl,
Rat. Voila. You can't miss.
THE RAT
I think I've got it. Once I get
going, I'll be okay. But... how do
I get started? I mean, I hardly
know her.
DAMONE
You wuss. It's no problem. One
person says something to the other
and that's how it starts...
Standing there in the front of the Wherehouse, The
Rat nods his head and smiles. He's finally
beginning to understand, and we...
CUT TO:
EXT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATER THAT NIGHT
We see The Rat behind the wheel of a green Volvo.
Stacy sits beside him. They are driving the streets
of Ridgemont.
INT. THE RAT'S CAR
This is it. The Big Date. "Led Zeppelin IV" is on
the car stereo of his sister's van.
Finally...
STACY
Thanks for coming to get me.
THE RAT
Sure thing.
Silence.
EXT. THE RAT'S CAR
He rounds the corner of Luna Street, off the neon
fast-food stand that is Ridgemont Drive.
INT. THE RAT'S CAR
Yet another silence has fallen. Then, after a
time...
STACY
This is a nice car.
THE RAT
Yeah. It's my sister's.
Silence.
STACY
Do you have Mrs. George for
English?
THE RAT
Yeah. She is pretty good.
STACY
Yeah. She is pretty good.
EXT. ATLANTIS RESTAURANT - NIGHT
They pull into the parking lot of a steak and
lobster house called The Atlantis.
THE RAT
Joey at Cinema Four said this is a
pretty good restaurant.
STACY
I've heard that, too.
The Rat finds a parking spot near the back of the
lot, grateful that the long silence is over. He
walks with Stacy to the front of The Atlantis.
INT. THE ATLANTIS - NIGHT
The Rat and Stacy are escorted by the host to a
nearby table. They are given large wooden menus.
THE RAT
Do you know what you want?
STACY
I think I'll have the Seafood Salad
Special.
THE RAT
Excellent.
The Rat leans back in the booth. He is starting to
feel in control now. Then something hits him. The
panic sweeps across his face.
Slowly, The Rat reaches back to check his wallet.
It's gone.
STACY
Are you all right?
THE RAT
(weakly)
Oh yeah.
Cool. Cool was the name of the game. Stay cool.
THE RAT (CONT'D)
Do you mind if I excuse myself for
a moment?
STACY
Not at all.
Just as The Rat is about to get up, the Waitress
approaches the table.
WAITRESS
Are you ready to order here?
THE RAT
Well... sure.
(settles back down)
She will have the Seafood Salad
Special. And I will have... the
same.
WAITRESS
Anything to drink?
THE RAT
Two Cokes.
WAITRESS
Okay. Thanks.
The Rat gets back up again, looking paler by the
minute. He excuses himself and walks over to the
pay phone by the Atlantis toilets.
The Rat dials a number. Damone answers.
INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - NIGHT
He is sitting in a chair, leaning onto the back two
legs, watching television.
DAMONE
Yo.
THE RAT (V.O.)
Damone. It's Mark.
DAMONE
Mark. What happened to your date?
THE RAT
It's happening right now. I'm here
at the Atlantis. Everything's fine
except... I left my wallet at home.
DAMONE
Did you go home and get it?
THE RAT
No. It's too late. The food is
coming and everything. Damone, I've
got to ask you this favor, and I'll
never ask you for anything again in
this lifetime or any other. Will
you please borrow your mom's car,
go by my house, get my wallet, and
meet me back here?
There is silence.
THE RAT (CONT'D)
Damone, are you there?
DAMONE
(world-weary sigh)
I'm really pretty busy...
ANGLE ON DAMONE'S TELEVISION
as we see the flickering images of Leave It To
Beaver.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
You owe me for this one.
INT. ATLANTIS
The Rat hangs up, mildly relieved, and returns to
the table.
DISSOLVE
TO:
INT. STACY AND THE RAT'S TABLE - AN HOUR LATER
The Rat and Stacy have finished the meal, and
desert.
ANGLE ON THE CHECK
as it sits in a little tray before The Rat.
The Waitress approaches the table. It is clear she
wants to make room for other customers and bigger
tips.
WAITRESS
Are you sure there's nothing else I
can bring you?
THE RAT
I'll have one more Coke... Do you
want another Coke, Stacy?
STACY
(quizzical) )
Sure. I'll... have another Coke.
THE RAT
Two more Cokes.
WAITRESS
(sarcastic)
Two... more... Cokes.
ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR
as Mike Damone finally walks in. Damone looks over
the diners, then feigns great surprise when he sees
The Rat.
DAMONE
Hey, Mark. Is that you?
THE RAT
Damone! You come here?
DAMONE
I come for the seafood. It's great!
Hey... you know what, Mark? I found
your wallet the other day. You want
it back?
THE RAT
Wow. I've been looking for that
thing! Hey, Damone, have you met
Stacy Hamilton? Stacy, this is Mike
Damone.
Stacy smiles politely, with the slightest sparkle
in her eye, as the Waitress returns with the two
Cokes.
DAMONE
Well, I've gotta be running.
THE RAT
Okay. See ya.
ANGLE ON STACY
looking strangely at the proceedings.
DAMONE
Nice to meet you, Stacy.
STACY
Nice to meet you.
Damone leaves. The Rat takes a few quick gulps of
Coke, and gets up to pay the bill. As he moves out
of camera range, we see the strange look on the
faces of waitresses and diners.
INT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATE EVENING
The Rat pulls up to Stacy's house in the cul-de
sac. He stares straight ahead, like a zombie.
THE RAT
I had a really nice time tonight.
STACY
Me, too. I'm real sorry someone
broke in and stole your tape deck.
The Rat nods glumly.
THE RAT
I never thought it would happen at
The Atlantis. Jeez.
STACY
Do you want to come inside?
THE RAT
Aren't your parents asleep?
STACY
No, they're away for the weekend.
Brad and I are watching the house.
THE RAT
Okay. Sure. I'll come in.
We see a confused but interested look on The Rat's
face.
INT. THE HAMILTON HOUSE - EVENING
They walk in the front door. The Rat stands
uncomfortably in the doorway to the living room.
THE RAT
Where's your brother?
STACY
I don't know. Probably out. Want
something to drink?
THE RAT
No. That's okay.
STACY
Well, I'm going to change real
quick. I hope you don't mind.
THE RAT
Naw. I don't mind.
Stacy turns her back and pulls up her hair.
STACY
Will you unzip me?
ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE
as the wheels inside his mind start to spin. This
can't be what it seems. He unzips Stacy, past her
bra, down to the small of her back. It's the first
time he's ever done anything like that.
STACY (CONT'D)
Thanks!
She walks down the hall to her room, easing out of
her dress as she walks. She leaves the door to her
room open.
STACY (CONT'D)
You can come in, if you want!
ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE
He is completely unsure of himself, as he begins to
walk down the hall. His heart pounds into his
throat. He turns the corner and steps into Stacy's
room.
INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT
Stacy stands there, looking gorgeous in an almost
seethrough white robe. The Rat pretends not to
notice.
THE RAT
So... pretty nice house you've got
here.
STACY
Thanks. So...
(puts hands on hips)
What do you want to do?
ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE
as he struggles with the memory of Damone's words.
"Always call the shots."
THE RAT
I don't know.
STACY
Do you want to see some pictures? I
kept a lot of scrapbooks and
pictures and stuff from junior
high. How stupid, right?
THE RAT
Sure.
Stacy goes to her closet, reaches up to grab the
books from the top shelf. The Rat watches her robe
slip up her legs. Then she sits down next to him.
Her knee grazes his. It is almost too much for The
Rat. Go for it. We see The Rat struggle with the
action of putting his arm around her. He almost
does, but then reacts as she says suddenly...
STACY
This is me in the eighth grade. Did
you have Mr. Deegan?
THE RAT
(looking pained)
Oh, yeah. I had Mr. Deegan.
Her knee grazes him again. Does she expect
something?
THE RAT (CONT'D)
Look, Stacy, I want you to know
that...
The Rat struggles. Try as he might, he can't seem
to cross the line. He can't make his move. He is
woeful as he completes the sentence.
THE RAT (CONT'D)
... I've got to go home.
STACY
Do you really have to go?
THE RAT
Well... it's getting kind of late.
Suddenly, The Rat is seized with ambition. He
reaches one hand around her right shoulder and
plants the other hand directly on her left breast.
It looks something like a wrestling hold. The Rat
looks at Stacy. Stacy looks back at The Rat. The
Rat is absolutely frozen.
STACY
I guess it is getting late, Mark.
She shrugs him off, walks him to the door.
EXT. THE HAMILTON HOME - NIGHT
We see The Rat's forlorn face as he trudges towards
his car. He stops. He takes a breath -- it wasn't
that late, he really didn't want to leave. The Rat
turns and begins walking back up the Hamilton
steps. Just as he does so, Stacy's bedroom light
clicks off. It was too late. He kicks at his car.
THE RAT
You blew it, asshole.
Behind him, recklessly speeding towards Ridgemont
Drive, is Charles Jefferson's blue Mustang.
EXT./INT. THE BLUE MUSTANG - NIGHT
Jeff Spicoli is behind the wheel. Sitting next to
him is Little Charles, "L.C.", Jefferson's younger
brother. They're smoking grass and holding
Lowenbrau beers in between their legs. The radio is
blasting the music of Rick James.
L.C.
Hey, slow down. This is my
brother's car.
SPICOLI
I thought he was out of town.
L.C.
He is.
SPICOLI
Then don't hassle it.
They speed off down Ridgemont.
L.C.
Seen the new Playboy?
SPICOLI
Naw. Any good?
L.C.
Suzanne Somers' tits.
SPICOLI
All right.
L.C.
I like sex.
Spicoli sees something in the rearview mirror.
SPICOLI
Hold your beer down, L.C., I think
it's a cop.
Spicoli slows down. The car behind him slows down.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
This is a cop. He's definitely
cruising me at busting distance.
The high beams switch on behind Spicoli.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
What the fuck is this guy doing?
The car behind Spicoli then advances to the point
where it is now almost touching the blue Mustang.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
What the fuck is this guy doing?
L.C.
This ain't no cop.
The mystery car bumps them lightly from behind.
L.C. (CONT'D)
Hey! He's gonna scratch my
brother's car!
The two boys start yelling. High beams fill the
Mustang with bright light and...
EXT./INT. MUSTANG AND GRANADA
Then mystery car pulls back, then up alongside
Spicoli and L.C. on the left. We hear the music on
the radio of George Thoroughgood's "Ride On,
Josephine".
SPICOLI
It's a bunch of Jocks in a Granada!
L.C.
They're fuckin' with us.
The drivers of the two cars eye each others. Then
the Granada begins inching over, trying to force
Spicoli off the road.
L.C. (CONT'D)
My brother's car!
SPICOLI
All right. Die, Granada Jocks!
Spicoli guns ahead, in a real bullet move, and
easily overtakes the Granada. Spicoli is proud of
himself. He checks himself out in the rearview and
turns to L.C.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Would you roll your window up,
L.C.? It's messing my hair.
Spicoli pulls way ahead of the Granada, while L.C.
rolls his window up. Spicoli looks over to L.C. and
smiles wickedly.
Now Spicoli wants to show off. He pushes the pedal
to the floor.
L.C.
We just missed the turnoff to the
party.
SPICOLI
You know the thing I love about
Mustangs? The steering wheel.
Spicoli fingers the bubbles in the wheel.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
With a genuine Mustang steering
wheel, you can negotiate a hairpin
turn with ease, my man.
EXT./INT. MUSTANG
on the word "ease", Spicoli curls his finger into
one of the Mustang steering wheel bubbles and whips
it clockwise. The idea is to turn off onto a side
street and head back to the party. But instead, at
the moment of the hairpin turn, L.C. is attempting
to switch the radio station. Spicoli crooks his
finger farther into the bubble than he expected.
The car swings in a complete circle, a circle that
includes a bright yellow fire hydrant. The hydrant
rips the side of the car open like a can of tuna.
There is a silent moment of terror.
SPICOLI
Are you okay?
There is silence. Outside the smashed car, the
Granada Jocks pass Spicoli and L.C.
GRANADA JOCKS
Fuck youuuuuuuuuu!
Then L.C. stirs and utters his first words.
L.C.
My brother is going to kill us.
He's gonna kill you and then he's
gonna kill me. He's gonna kill us.
SPICOLI
Just be glad you're all right.
L.C.
My brother is gonna shit.
SPICOLI
Make up your mind. Is he gonna
shit, or is he gonna kill us?
L.C.
First he's gonna shit. And then
he's gonna kill us..
SPICOLI
Will you just relax, mon? He's not
gonna kill us. My father is a
television repairman. He's got all
kinds of tools. I can fix-this car.
L.C.
You can't fix this car, Spicoli.
ANGLE ON THE BLUE MUSTANG
waffled and mangled. It is just inches away from
scrap iron.
SPICOLI
I can fix it.
MONTAGE OF SHOTS
as we see Ridgemont High gearing up for its big
Homecoming Game against Lincoln. We see a series of
shots of kids talking about it, wagering on the
chances of a Ridgemont victory. We see the many
signs and placards all over school, proclaiming
Ridgemont revenge. We see students lining up to
vote for Homecoming King and Queen in the
gymnasium. It is the most spirit that Ridgemont has
shown this year.
DISSOLVE
TO:
EXT. RIDGEMONT SCHOOL - FLAGPOLE - DAY
From the back of the parking lot, we see a crowd
around the flagpole. A group of kids are staring at
something. They sadly shake their heads at the
sight, as if they are witnessing a funeral.
As we draw closer, we see the center of commotion.
It is an ugly sight. Someone had wrecked Charles
Jefferson's Blue Scholarship Mustang and welded it
to the flagpole. Spray-painted on the side was the
message: LINCOLN SURF PUNKS RULE.
EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT
The Ridgemont football bleachers are full of
cheering students. We see the same basic groups
from lunch court, and many more.
The cheerleaders are on the field -- Cindy Carr,
Dina Phillips and company -- and their cheerleader
"husbands" sit directly in front of them in the
stands. Linda and Stacy sit in the bleachers with
some of the Swenson's girls. The Rat and Damone sit
several rows above them, watching. The teachers sit
together in another section.
ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON
who is again sitting alone in the bleachers.
Watching. Several old lunch court friends pass by,
on their way to the concession area.
STUDENT #1
Hey, Brad! How's going?
BRAD
All right.
STUDENT #2
Where you working?
BRAD
Fish and chips place.
STUDENT #1
Which one?
BRAD
Just a fish and chips place.
Brad says nothing more. The students look at each
other.
STUDENTS
We'll be seeing you, Brad!
BRAD
(sullen)
Later.
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - THE GAME - NIGHT
Everyone is cheering the amazing game on the field.
Charles Jefferson is poised on the offensive line.
He mutters a string of obscenities at the opposing
Lincoln player. The ball is snapped, and Charles
Jefferson comes directly at the player with both
elbows up and angled to hit inside his helmet. The
Lincoln player is hit and keels over.
Charles Jefferson sets up for another play. The
ball is snapped. Ka-boom. Down falls another
Lincoln player. Jefferson doesn't know who it was
who wrecked his Mustang, but he wasn't about to
spare any of them. There is pure madness in his
eyes. It has taken him over.
The Ridgemont points rack up. Jefferson is single
handedly maiming Lincoln for Homecoming.
EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT
We see Jeff Spicoli and L.C. sitting calmly in the
bleachers, watching.
SPICOLI
I think we may have gotten away
clean.
EXT. FIELD AND SCOREBOARD
The half-time gun fires and the score is 36-7...
Ridgemont. Even the Ridgemont players steer clear
of Charles Jefferson as they return to their locker
room.
EXT. THE HAMILTON POOL - HOT AFTERNOON - SEVERAL
WEEKS LATER
Linda and Stacy are sitting by the pool, dressed in
string tie bathing suits. They are listening to the
music of Tom Petty's "Breakdown" playing on the
living room stereo. Linda luxuriously applies
suntan lotion to her chest and legs, in long and
writhing strokes. Stacy reads a book. It's called
Total Orgasm. Several beats pass.
LINDA
I sent a letter to Doug today. I'll
be so glad when he gets out here.
STACY
(engrossed in book)
You really ought to look at this,
Linda. There's a drawing on every
page... and all these quizzes. It's
like school.
LINDA
Why don't you put your mother's
secret book back?
Linda continues regally applying lotion.
STACY
Listen to this... 'What are your
mate's three most erogenous zones?'
LINDA
(automatic)
Okay, penis, that's one, balls...
STACY
Wouldn't penis and balls be the
same category?
LINDA
You're right. Probably penis, mouth
and neck.
STACY
All right! Here's another one. 'The
most satisfactory lovemaking occurs
when your mate climaxes first, you
climax first, you and your mate
climax together?'
LINDA
Climax together.
STACY
Does that ever happen?
LINDA
No. But it's a nice idea.
STACY
Listen to this ... it says 'Most
women derive pleasure from sex, but
they don't have real orgasms.'
Linda stops applying lotion, considers that
thought.
LINDA
Well... they obviously don't know
about Doug.
They laugh. Linda resumes applying the lotion.
Stacy continues reading the book. A couple of beats
pass.
STACY
How long does Doug take?
LINDA
I don't know. Thirty to forty
minutes.
STACY
(pause)
What's Doug do in Chicago?
LINDA
He works for the airline. He'll be
out here. You'll meet him.
Stacy looks at Linda, almost disbelieving.
LINDA (CONT'D)
(wistful)
He's no high school boy.
There is a noise by the side fence leading into the
Hamiltons' backyard. It is Mark Ratner and Mike
Damone. They are already wearing swimsuits.
DAMONE
Hey! We came over to help you with
Math homework!
STACY
Oh, really?
THE RAT
Really. We figured you needed the
help. On such a hot day.
Stacy quickly stashes the book in a stack of towels
beside her. She leans over to Linda and speaks
confidentially.
STACY
What do you think?
LINDA
I think they're both virgins.
Stacy smiles, gets up and goes over to the fence.
STACY
I didn't ask for any help. Did you,
Linda?
LINDA
No.
DAMONE
Well, that's exactly why I brought
some Wisk for the jacuzzi.
STACY
O-kay, you guys can come swimming.
But you have to leave as soon as my
Mom gets home. Okay?
EXT. HAMILTON POOL
Mike Damone yells "banzai!" and dives into the
small pool. At one end of the pool is the jacuzzi,
which is separated by a tile wall. Damone has
already poured the Wisk into the jacuzzi, and the
detergent has created a huge bubble bath effect.
Damone surfaces and flips into the jacuzzi.
Stacy, looking great in a green bikini, sits
kicking her legs by the side of the pool. Linda
stands on the board. She is poised to dive. The Rat
treads water and stares at both girls. Inside the
Hamilton living room, the family stereo plays the
music of Deep Purple's "Woman From Tokyo".
DAMONE
Hey, Linda! I'll judge your dive.
I'm a champion diver myself.
Brad arrives home by the side gate and slams it
behind him. He is home from a bad day at work. He
walks out onto the patio and stands with his hands
on his hips. For the first time, our former campus
hero looks absurd. He is still in his uniform from
Captain Kidd Fish and Chips -- it is a blue and
white striped Pirates of the Caribbean outfit,
complete with black plastic sword at the side, and
a ridiculously large Ponce de Leon-esque hat. Brad
carries the hat under his arm.
BRAD
Does Mom know you have company?
STACY
It's just Linda. And Mark from
school.
Brad ignores the underclassmen, and notices Linda
on the board in her maroon bikini. He smiles.
BRAD
Hi, Linda.
LINDA
Hi, Brad.
BRAD
Well, you guys, keep it down. I've
got some work to do upstairs.
Brad turns and heads back inside. He is just out of
earshot when they begin talking about him.
LINDA
God, he hardly even talks anymore.
STACY
I know. He hates to have to wear
uniforms.
DAMONE
Poor guy.
THE RAT
Really.
Stacy breaks the spell by jumping into the water,
surfacing, and flipping over the tile wall into the
Jacuzzi. She sits next to Damone, looking
mischievous.
ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI
talking while the others are at the other end of
the pool.
ANGLE ON THE RAT
casually catching sight of them together from the
other side of the pool. We can read the emotions on
The Rat's face. He is still taken with Stacy, but
his big moment for her appears to have passed.
ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI
as they talk.
Underneath the water, her leg accidentally knocks
against his. Then he feels her continue. Damone
feels Stacy's cool hand on his inner thigh. Moving
upwards, stopping just short of the bulge in his
trunks.
ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE
as it loosens and quivers just the slightest bit.
This is uncharted territory, even for Mr. Attitude.
ANGLE ON LINDA
who is now sunning herself by the side of the pool.
She rubs her legs against each other, slowly,
enjoying the hot afternoon.
EXT. BRAD'S WINDOW - ANGLE ON BRAD
who is watching Linda from the window in his room.
We see him from behind, peeking out the curtains.
EXT. POOL - ANGLE ON LINDA
who smiles at Damone and flips back into the pool
with a splash. Damone steals a look down at his
swimsuit. He's popped a big one.
THE RAT
Why don't you get up and do a dive,
Mike?
LINDA
Go ahead.
ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE
and we know he can't get out of the water yet.
DAMONE
No. I don't think so. Not right
now.
THE RAT
Chicken!
Linda, for one, loses interest quickly. Standing by
the side of the pool, she jams a finger in her ear
and wiggles it.
LINDA
Stacy! I've got water in my ears.
Do you have any Q-Tips?
STACY
God, I don't think so. Better look
in the house.
Linda towels off and heads back inside the Hamilton
house. She knows how to walk.
INT. BRAD'S BEDROOM AND BATHROOM - AFTERNOON
We see Brad's room. The Carl's burger picture on
the wall is conspicuously missing. There is music
playing from his stereo -- Pink Floyd's "You and
Me".
We see Brad. He is kneeling on the bathroom floor,
his back to us. His green T-shirt is on, his
underwear in a pile on the floor behind him. His
arm is pumping slowly. Brad is jacking off.
DISSOLVE
TO:
EXT. HAMILTON POOL - BRAD'S DAYDREAM
It features Linda Barrett, just as she stood on the
diving board a moment ago. She is gorgeous. Her
breasts seem even bigger than usual. Her nipples
are hard, poking through the film maroon string
bikini. Water rolls slowly down her cheeks, into
the corners of her mouth. Her lips are parted
slightly. Her eyes are filled with desire as she
says...
LINDA
Hi, Brad.
(pause)
You know how cute I always thought
you were. I think you're so sexy.
Will you come to me?
ANGLE ON BRAD IN DAYDREAM
in a nice shirt, his hair combed back and looking
great. He walks to Linda. She reaches out and grabs
him for a kiss, pulling him close. Then she pushes
him away, so he can watch as she carefully unstraps
the top of her bathing suit. The incredible Linda
Barrett's breasts fall loose.
She takes Brad's hands and places them on her, as
she begins unbuttoning his shirt. They are just
about to fall into passionate lovemaking when we
hear...
LINDA (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Hey, Brad! Do you have any Q-Ti...
The daydream evaporates and we see real life again
with an...
INT. BRAD'S BATHROOM - ANGLE ON LINDA'S FACE
in the doorway of Brad's bathroom as she watches
the sight before her.
ANGLE ON BRAD
trying to cover himself and act nonchalant and keep
his back turned at the same time. The words barely
escape his mouth.
BRAD
Wait just a... minute.
LINDA
Sorry. I didn't know anybody was in
here.
Linda turns and goes immediately, as if she wants
to forget what she saw as quickly as possible. She
closes the door behind her.
ANGLE ON BRAD
still kneeling. It had all happened so quickly, so
fast
BRAD
Doesn't anybody fuckin' knock
anymore?
He slams the toilet seat down and we...
CUT TO:
INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY
The third attendance bell rings, and Mr. Hand
strides to the front of the class. He locks the
door. Then he takes the front of the class and
notices something very different.
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
bright and clear-eyed, sitting in the front row.
His hands are clasped in front of him on the desk.
His textbook is open to the proper page.
Mr. Hand is suspicious, but continues with class.
MR. HAND
Now in 1898, Spain owned Cuba.
Outright. Think about it. Cuba,
owned by a disorganized parliament
4,000 miles away. Cubans were in a
constant state of revolt.
Mr. Hand begins pacing the aisles as he talks.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
In 1904, the United States decided
to throw a little weight around,
and...
There is a brief, sharp knock at the door. Mr. Hand
whips his head around, like McGarrett. He
approaches the door like a cat.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
(sweet voice)
Who is it?
VOICE
Mr. Pizza.
MR. HAND
Again?
VOICE
Mr. Pizza, sir!
Hand swings the door open, out of curiosity. In
walks a young Man in a Mr. Pizza delivery shirt.
PIZZA MAN
Okay, who had the double cheese
sausage and bologna?
Jeff Spicoli speaks up.
SPICOLI
That's me.
The Delivery Man takes the pizza, sets it on the
desk, as Spicoli whips out some crumpled dollars.
Then he produces yet another crumpled dollar, and
presses it into the Delivery Man's hand.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
For you, my man.
The Delivery Man thanks him warmly, just as Mr.
Hand rages into the picture.
MR. HAND
Am I hallucinating here? Just what
in the hell do you think you're
doing?
SPICOLI
Learning about Cuba. Having some
food.
MR. HAND
Mr. Spicoli, you're on dangerous
ground here. You're causing a major
disturbance in my class and on my
time.
SPICOLI
(cool and urbane)
I've been thinking about this, Mr.
Hand. If I'm here... and you're
here... doesn't that make it our
time?
Mr. Hand is so furious he's almost shaking.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
So I thought I'd order us a pizza.
Just leave me a lot of bologna...
Mr. Hand snatches up the pizza, and starts to throw
it in the wastebasket. Then he thinks better, and
heads for the door. He opens it just as a gang of
young Stoners walk past.
STONER #1
There's the pizza.
STONER #2
Totally!
Mr. Hand pushes the pizza into their hands and
slams the door.
SPICOLI
You better save some for me, you
swine!
MR. HAND
And you, my friend. I'll see you
for a two-hour detention every
afternoon this week.
Spicoli eases back in his chair, shrugs. It was a
good idea at the time.
INT. CAPTAIN KIDD FISH AND CHIPS - DAY
Brad Hamilton, looks terribly uncomfortable in his
Ponce de Leon hat and buccaneer uniform. He rings
up an order for an older Customer.
CUSTOMER
Why aren't you in school, son?
BRAD
I go to school in the mornings. I
have a work study program for the
afternoon.
He bags one final coffee and punches up the amount.
BRAD
$8.46, please.
CUSTOMER
Here you go. I have it exactly.
(sets money down)
Good luck!
BRAD
Thank you, and thanks for coming to
Captain Kidd.
Brad loosens his buccaneer scarf, and starts back
towards the kitchen. He is stopped by the sudden
appearance of Captain Kidd Assistant Manager,
Harold.
HAROLD
Hamilton! I'll take over the fryer.
Those boys at IBM need some Catch
of-the-Day boxes, and I told them
you would personally deliver them
within the hour. I'll reimburse you
for gas.
Brad dutifully unhooks his apron, to reveal the
bottom half of his pirate suit.
BRAD
Just write me out a bill.
While Harold leans down to tally up the fish order,
Brad goes to a nearby employee's closet. He has
completely perfected the art of changing back into
his street clothes, and it takes less than a
minute. He is just about to finish buttoning his
street shirt when Harold sees him.
HAROLD
Hamilton, come over here. What is
that you've got on?
BRAD
This is how I dress all the time.
HAROLD
But you took off your Captain Kidd
uniform.
BRAD
I thought I'd take it off for the
drive over to IBM. It's kind of
uncomfortable.
Harold can barely fathom the idea.
HAROLD
Come on, Hamilton. You're going
over there to represent Captain
Kidd Fish and Chips. We have stores
all over Southern California. Part
of our image, part of our appeal is
in our uniforms. You know that!
BRAD
You really want me to put all this
stuff back on?
HAROLD
Yes. I think so. Show some pride,
Hamilton.
ANGLE ON BRAD
as he stands there, stoic looking.
BRAD
I don't believe you're asking me to
do this, but okay.
He begins taking off his street shirt. He looks at
Harold, looks at the boxes, and returns to the
closet.
INT. THE CRUISING VESSEL
Brad is driving down the freeway, listening to the
music of Bruce Springsteen's "Out in the Streets."
He pries open one of the fourteen Catch-of-the-Day
boxes on the seat next to him and pulls out a small
piece of fried fish. Brad takes a bite.
The look on his face says it is the worst piece of
shit he has ever tasted. He throws the piece out
the window, and drives on.
Brad turns to see a girl smiling at him from
another car. It makes his afternoon. He returns the
smile with gusto.
ANGLE ON THE GIRL
as she bursts out laughing and drives away.
ANGLE ON BRAD
looking perplexed. Then he realizes that he hasn't
taken his Ponce de Leon hat off. Brad drives on.
A SERIES OF ANGLES ON BRAD'S CAR
as we see the Cruising Vessel move down the
highway. We see the Captain Kidd hat go flying out
the window. Then the plastic sword, and the scarf.
Then a couple boxes of Captain Kidd fish. Then the
rest of them. We see Brad rip past the IBM
Building.
DISSOLVE
TO:
EXT. RIDGEMONT HIGH SCHOOL - AFTERNOON
School is out and kids are leaving campus, heading
for the parking lot and bus stop. We see Mike
Damone carrying some books, walking towards
Ridgemont Drive. He is joined by Stacy Hamilton,
who hurries to catch up to him.
STACY
I can't wait until I can drive next
year. I walk every day. It's such a
drag.
DAMONE
Get a ride with somebody.
STACY
Sometimes I get a ride with my
brother. But he usually works in
the mornings, and then drives to
school himself.
DAMONE
What a guy.
Damone turns to her after a moment, all Attitude.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
You know Mark Ratner really likes
you. You like him?
STACY
Mark is a really nice boy...
Stacy walks along, then stops and looks at Damone.
STACY (CONT'D)
But I think I like you.
They turn the corner.
EXT. HAMILTON HOME
They have arrived at Stacy's house. There are no
cars parked out front. No one is home.
STACY
Do you want to come in for a
second?
The Attitude starts to weaken. After a long pause,
Damone responds.
DAMONE
Do you have any ice tea?
STACY
Sure. Come on in.
Stacy unlocks her front door, they go inside.
INT. HAMILTON KITCHEN
Damone stands in the white linoleum Hamilton
kitchen. Stacy opens the refrigerator door.
STACY
I guess the annuals are coming in
pretty soon. Are you going to get
one?
DAMONE
I don't know.
STACY
Aren't you curious to see how your
class picture turned out?
DAMONE
I know what I look like.
Stacy places a glass of ice tea in front of him.
They are all alone in the house.
STACY
Do you want to take a quick swim?
DAMONE
Well...
STACY
Brad probably has some trunks you
can borrow... I'm going to my room
to change!
Damone stares straight ahead. She's going to her
room to change. Stacy scoots down the hall toward
her bedroom.
DAMONE
This is great ice tea!
INT. STACY'S ROOM - ANGLE ON STACY IN HER ROOM
In the middle of changing, she has caught her own
reflection in the mirror. She pauses a moment,
looking at the young girl looking back.
INT. KITCHEN - ANGLE ON DAMONE IN THE KITCHEN
He continues staring straight ahead.
STACY
(from other room)
You don't have to shout! You can
come back here to my room!
Damone doesn't move. He pretends he doesn't hear. A
moment later, Stacy comes bounding back down the
hall in her green bikini. She grabs Damone by the
arm.
STACY
Come with me! I know there's a suit
in the changing room!
She pulls him away.
INT. THE CHANGING ROOM
They enter the wood-panelled changing room next to
the Hamilton pool. There are two swimsuits hanging
from wooden pegs.
STACY
Pick a suit.
DAMONE
I don't know. It's getting pretty
late...
She locks the door to the changing room and begins
to walk towards Mike Damone.
STACY
Are you really a virgin?
DAMONE
Come on...
He could feel his leg starting to shake the
slightest bit.
STACY
It's okay if it's your first time.
She gives him a kiss.
DAMONE
Listen. I feel pretty strange here.
Because Mark really likes you, and
he's my friend.
STACY
He's my friend, too.
She gives him another kiss. He kisses her in
return. Standing there, feeling Stacy in her
bikini, feeling her kiss him, Damone also felt some
of his reservations slip away.
DAMONE
You're a really good kisser.
STACY
So are you.
(pause)
Are you shaking?
DAMONE
(shaking)
No. Are you crazy?
It is clear that this is as far as Mr. Attitude has
ever gotten with a girl. Stacy takes the
initiative, rubbing her hands through his hair,
rubbing his sides, kissing his neck, then pulling
away.
STACY
(whispers)
Why don't you take off your
clothes, Mike?
DAMONE
You first.
STACY
How about both of us at the same
time?
Damone nods, and watches as Stacy unhooks her top
and steps out of her bikini bottom. She stands
naked in the shadows of the afternoon sun. She sits
down naked on a red changing room couch, and
gathers her legs up to her chest. She watches as
Damone struggles with his clothes.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
hopping on one leg, pulling first out of his pants,
then his jockey underwear. Bashfully, he goes to
sit next to Stacy on the couch. They begin to kiss,
and it quickly escalates into heavy petting. Stacy
pulls away.
STACY
I want you to know that it's your
final decision if we should
continue or not.
DAMONE
Let's continue.
Stacy leans back and pulls him on top of her. He
enters her and begins pumping so hard, so fast,
that he doesn't notice he's banging the sofa into
the wall of the changing room.
But just as quickly as Damone starts, he stops.
STACY
(whispers)
Hey, Mike?
DAMONE
What? Are you all right?
STACY
I think we're making a lot of
noise.
DAMONE
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
He has a strange look on his face.
STACY
What's wrong?
DAMONE
I think I came. Didn't you feel it?
STACY
I guess I did.
They lay there, Damone still on top of her on the
red couch.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
as we read the confusion on his face. He is
embarrassed, a little confused... mostly he just
wants to be alone.
DAMONE
I've got to get home. I've really
got to go, Stacy.
ANGLE ON STACY
as she looks up at him. She gives him a kiss.
Damone gets up puts his pants and shirt on. He
leaves the changing room.
DISSOLVE
TO:
INT. BIOLOGY CLASS - AFTERNOON
We see Stacy sitting at her usual seat, and she's
wearing a bright spring dress with a slight amount
of makeup.
She looks at Damone's seat with anticipation, but
it remains empty as other students file in.
Finally, she turns to The Rat.
STACY
Where's Mike today?
THE RAT
Today's April 16th. Damone never
comes to school on April 16th.
STACY
What's April 16th?
THE RAT
It's John Bonham's birthday.
STACY
John Bonham?
THE RAT
John Bonham. The drummer for Led
Zeppelin. He died a couple years
ago. Every birthday he stays home
and plays everything John Bonham
ever recorded. It's like his own
holiday.
STACY
Oh. I see.
The bell rings, and Mr. Vargas enters the room with
his Sanka cup.
INT. COLLEGE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
Seated at the desk is Mrs. O'Rourke. There is a
knock at the door.
The door swings open. Brad Hamilton holds out his
yellow slip.
MRS. O'ROURKE
Have a seat, Brad... Brad have you
got your list of college
applications?
BRAD
Well, to tell you the truth Mrs.
O'Rourke, I've kind of been putting
it off. I'm not sure what I want to
do yet.
MRS. O'ROURKE
(by rote)
All right Brad. Let me ask you like
this. If I were queen of the world,
and I could make you whatever you
wanted to be, what would it be?
BRAD
I don't know... Burt Reynolds.
There is no humor on Mrs. O'Rourke's face.
MRS. O'ROURKE
I realize it's important to have
fun in your senior year, with your
friends, but there comes a time
when you have to get serious about
your future, think about college,
and put aside all this fun.
Brad looks up suddenly.
BRAD
You know what, Mrs. O'Rourke? I
broke up with my girlfriend this
year. I lost my job at Carl's, and
two other places. I wake up at 5:30
to work at 7-11, then I go to
school, then I go back to 7-11. I
have to pay rent, you know. My
grades haven't been that bad, and
now you're telling me that the fun
is over. Well, I'm still waiting
for the fun to start.
MRS. O'ROURKE
Brad, I'll see you when I'm through
with the rest of the seniors. If
you want to visit the career
office, go right ahead. I'll talk
to you when you're more prepared.
Brad gathers his books and opens the door to leave.
MRS. OIROURKE
Next!
An absolutely exuberant Cindy Carr pops her head in
the door.
CINDY
Hi-yeeeeeeee!!!
DISSOLVE
TO:
EXT. RIDGEMONT HALLWAY - MORNING
The bell has just rung, and Mike Damone comes out
of Youth and Law class. He has an absorbed, driven
look on his face. He walks past the rows of
lockers, and doesn't even notice as he passes Stacy
Hamilton standing by her locker. She smiles, grabs
his arm affectionately.
STACY
Hi Mike!
Damone turns to see her, is thoroughly unimpressed.
DAMONE
Oh. Hi.
STACY
I didn't see you this morning.
DAMONE
Look, I'm kind of in a hurry.
STACY
I'm in a hurry too. I just thought
I could say hi to you.
DAMONE
Hello.
He pulls away, leaving a bewildered Stacy standing
by her locker. She grabs some books and hurries in
the other direction.
EXT. SCHOOL BUS - DAY
The bus pulls up to the front entrance of
University Hospital. The students file out and
collect next to the front door. Mr. Vargas
gleefully addresses the class. This is his favorite
field trip.
MR. VARGAS
Today we're going to explore how
this hospital works to preserve
human life.
We'll be visiting every floor,
every level where these fine
doctors and nurses take care of us,
in life... and in death.
INT. MATERNITY WARD
The class exits from a hospital elevator, onto
another floor. They are now standing outside the
maternity ward. We hear the loud noise of babies.
MR. VARGAS
Over thirty children are delivered
here each day...
The class moves on.
INT. THE BOTTOM FLOOR
The class exits another hospital elevator.
MR. VARGAS
This is part of your third quarter
exam, and I'd advise you to take
careful notes on what we're about
to see.
ANGLE ON DR. MILLER
a young intern who has joined the class for the
last part of their tour.
MR. VARGAS
May I just ask you one last time to
conduct yourselves with the utmost
maturity...
The kids are beginning to get very nervous now as
they are led down the hall to the "Cold Room." The
door to the "Cold Room" has only one sign on it. It
reads: CADAVERS -- MEDICAL EXAMINATION ONLY. Mr.
Vargas opens the door, and the class seems to gasp.
INT. THE COLD ROOM
There are six examination tables in the "Cold
Room". Each of them contains a cadaver covered by a
white sheet. Mr. Vargas has gathered the class
around one table in particular. He fingers the edge
of the white sheet as he talks.
MR. VARGAS
As you know, all the bodies in this
room are recently deceased human
bio-structures.
A student raises his hand.
MR. VARGAS
Yes, Randy?
RANDY
Who are these guys?
MR. VARGAS
Most of them were derelicts, Randy.
They sold the right for medical
examination of their bodies for
money. Something like thirty
dollars, I believe. Isn't that
right, Doctor Miller?
DR. MILLER
Twenty-five dollars.
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
who turns to Stacy.
SPICOLI
Twenty-five bucks is pretty good.
MR. VARGAS
Now this gentleman here is named
Arthur. Arthur died from heart
failure last week and we are
fortunate enough to view his body
in its pristine state.
Mr. Vargas suddenly pulls the white sheet aside and
we see the body of Arthur. The students' eyes
widen. Some gasp. Others cover their mouths. Others
begin furious notes. Nobody speaks. The body of
Arthur is smallish and withered. It is orange,
flaky, and not quite real looking. A deep cut has
been made in Arthur's chest.
Mr. Vargas bends Arthur upright for a better
student view. He gestures to the deep cut made in
Arthur's chest.
The tension mounts.
MR. VARGAS (CONT'D)
This incision allows us to pull
aside the skin covering of the
chest cavity and really observe the
human organs as they exist in their
natural state.
ANGLE ON ARTHUR
and his shrunken face, which seems to say please
don't.
MR. VARGAS (CONT'D)
I want all of you to take a look at
the chest cavity for just a moment.
Mr. Vargas grabs the two sides of Arthur's chest
cavity covering, and rips it open.
MR. VARGAS (CONT'D)
Here we have the human lungs and
heart, which you can see is
actually located in the center of
your chest.
With a squish, Mr. Vargas reaches inside Arthur and
pulls out the human heart for display. The class
stands in silent shock. Only one comment escapes
from any of them.
SPICOLI
Bitchin'.
ANGLE ON STACY HAMILTON
who goes running out of the "Cold Room", holding
her mouth. The Rat runs after her.
INT. BOTTOM FLOOR HALL
Rat and Stacy sit side-by-side on some orange
plastic chairs, by a nurse's desk. Stacy is shook
up.
STACY
I made a fool of myself.
THE RAT
Nobody noticed. Don't worry about
it. We'll just stay out here until
everyone comes out, we'll blend
back in.
STACY
What about the notes?
THE RAT
I'll get you the notes.
She squeezes his arm.
EXT. HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON
The students file out of the hospital, looking like
they've just been through a war.
INT. LINDA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
It is night, and Linda and Stacy are watching
Fantasy Island.
MONTALBAN
You see, Tatoo, what this man
doesn't realize is that he must one
day leave Fantasy Island. And he
must continue his life as an
incurable leper.
Stacy is fighting back tears. Linda looks angry.
Telephone rings. Linda jumps to get it.
LINDA
Hello.
Linda obviously is disappointed when she hears a
female voice.
LINDA (CONT'D)
Yeah... you're kidding... What did
he say... What did you say... How
much did it cost? Look, tell him he
can have a relationship with you or
a 'more open' relationship with
someone else... Listen, Debbie, can
I call you later. I'm waiting for
Doug to call.
She plops back on the couch with Stacy.
LINDA (CONT'D)
I'll bet he forgets to call again.
She notices that Stacy is crying over the TV show.
LINDA (CONT'D)
God, Stacy, it's not that sad. It's
just David Soul and Ricardo
Montalban.
STACY
I don't know, I'm just so
depressed. Everything is just so...
depressing.
Linda shuts off the television.
LINDA
You have been acting very strange
the last few weeks.
STACY
I don't know... I just don't feel
right.
Linda sits down next to Stacy on the bed.
LINDA
What do you think it is?
STACY
What do you think it is?
LINDA
It couldn't be.
STACY
It could be. I had a pregnancy test
at the clinic. I'll find out
Monday. I guess it was Damone.
LINDA
Of course it was Damone. If it was
Ron Johnson, you'd be out to here!
STACY
I'm not going to tell him. He's an
asshole. I hate him.
LINDA
But it costs money to have an
abortion. Even at the Free Clinic.
You tell Damone to pay for it. It's
the least he can do. It's the guy's
responsibility too.
She puts the TV back on and they watch.
STACY
You know, there's one thing you
didn't tell me about guys.
LINDA
What?
STACY
You didn't tell me that they can be
so nice, so great... but then you
sleep with them and they start
acting like they're five years old.
LINDA
You're right. I didn't tell you
that.
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - TWO DAYS LATER
Stacy Hamilton is walking towards Mike Damone on
the football field. We see him from a distance,
timing track runners.
DAMONE
What's going on?
STACY
Mike, there's something that's been
on my mind and I have to tell you
about it.
DAMONE
What? Now?
He clicks off the time on a runner, and then turns
to face her.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
Why don't you call me up tonight?
STACY
Mike. I want you to know that I'm
pregnant.
ANGLE ON STACY
as she looks down. They are words she never thought
she would be speaking.
DAMONE
How do you know it's mine? We only
did it once.
STACY
I know it's yours.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
as he realizes she is sincere, and he truly begins
to panic.
DAMONE
You made me do it! You locked the
door. You made me do it! You wanted
it more than me!
ANGLE ON STACY
She does not flinch.
STACY
Take that back.
DAMONE
All right, I take it back.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
He hugs his arms tighter across his chest, and
decides to try a more mature tact.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
There's only one thing we can do.
We've got to get rid of it. We've
got to get an abortion.
STACY
We've got to get an abortion?
DAMONE
Yeah. My brother Art got his
girlfriend one once.
STACY
It's already planned, Mike. It's
going to cost $150 at the Free
Clinic.
DAMONE
Doesn't sound free to me.
(pause)
So you want me to pay for it?
STACY
Half. Okay?
(bites back tears)
Seventy-five dollars. And a ride to
the clinic.
DAMONE
Seventy-five dollars, and a ride.
Okay.
Stacy stands there, hands folded, nodding.
DISSOLVE
TO:
INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON
He is working at his desk, counting through a wad
of money.
ANGLE ON THE LIST
in front of him, which has a split line down the
middle. People Who Owe Me -- fifteen dollars Rick.
People I Owe -seventy-five dollars REO Speedwagon
tickets, seventy-five dollars abortion. Damone
counts fifteen dollars into his stack, crosses out
Rick. Then he counts through the money. Seventy
five dollars exactly. He crosses out REO Speedwagon
tickets. This leaves him no money for the abortion.
EXT. STREET CORNER - AFTERNOON
Here, at the same corner where she once waited for
Ron Johnson, Stacy waits for Damone. Cars pass, no
Damone.
INT. HAMILTON HOUSE - AFTERNOON
Stacy is on the phone, calling Damone. We see the
phone messages sheet that lists two calls for
Stacy, and none for Brad. The line rings four
times, then it's answered.
FEMALE VOICE
Hello?
STACY
Hello... is Mike there?
FEMALE VOICE
Hold on.
Stacy sags, disbelieving, and looks at the clock on
the kitchen wall. It's getting late...
FEMALE VOICE (CONT'D)
He says he's helping his father in
the garage and he'll call you back.
Stacy is stunned.
FEMALE VOICE (CONT'D)
Hello?
Stacy hangs up. She punches out another number,
quickly.
MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
Hello?
STACY
Hi, Mrs. Barrett. Is Linda there?
MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
She went off to the beach. She'll
be back later, though.
STACY
Okay. Thanks.
She looks at the clock again, then hears a noise in
the driveway.
STACY (CONT'D)
Brad! Hey, wait a second!
She runs out.
EXT. CRUISING VESSEL - AFTERNOON
Brad and Stacy pull up next to the flea market.
STACY
Yeah. This is it. I have some
shopping to do.
BRAD
See you later.
STACY
Thanks a lot, Brad. I really
appreciate it.
She gets out of the car.
EXT. FLEA MARKET
Stacy Hamilton watches her brother drive away. Then
she looks to both sides, and walks on. She passes
the entrance to the Flea Market. She walks around
the corner to another building marked BIRTH CONTROL
- FREE CLINIC. Brad follows her in the rearview
mirror.
INT. BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC
Stacy is lying in bed wearing a paper dress. Her
hair is stuffed in paper shower cap. She looks
anxious. In a bed next to her an older girl is
being affectionate with her visiting boyfriend.
A Nurse comes in with an IV.
NURSE
This is going to prick a little.
She sticks the needle into Stacy's hand. Stacy
looks pained but doesn't yell. The Nurse pats the
rolling bed.
NURSE (CONT'D)
Now scoot over here.
Stacy moves onto it. Looking up from her point of
view, we see the ride out of the room and into:
INT. OPERATING ROOM
Stacy gets wheeled in. The Doctor looks down at
her.
DOCTOR
Hello, Stacy, I'm Doctor Bartell.
Stacy moves onto the operating table as the Nurse
and Doctor get ready.
DOCTOR (CONT'D)
Any questions before we begin?
STACY
This is going to hurt, isn't it?
DOCTOR
We'll use a local but you'll feel
some pressure. It doesn't last that
long.
STACY
Does it hurt more to have a baby?
The Doctor pauses and considers her question.
DOCTOR
Yes... but I think you mind it
less.
Stacy looks up at the lights and listens to the
sound of suction tubes.
INT. B.C. WAITING AREA
The other girl and Stacy sit at a table eating
toast and jelly. The girl is reading. The Nurse
enters.
NURSE
How are we doing in here? Debbie,
ready to leave?
The girl nods and gets up.
NURSE (CONT'D)
Right through here. Stacy, I can't
let you go unless you have a ride
home.
STACY
Uh, my boyfriend said held be
waiting downstairs.
The Nurse studies her, decides she's telling the
truth and allows her to leave.
EXT. ENTRANCE TO THE FREE CLINIC
Stacy walks back out into the sunlight, slowly and
weakly. She is surprised and amazed at who she sees
standing outside, waiting for her.
ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON
He stands, hands on hips, just outside the door.
STACY
Brad!
He puts an arm around her and leads her toward his
waiting car.
BRAD
Since when do you shop at the Flea
Market anyway?
STACY
Brad. Please don't tell Mom and
Dad...
He helps her into the cruising vessel. He starts up
the car and drives off.
BRAD
Who did it?
Stacy stares out the window. Tears well in her
eyes.
BRAD (CONT'D)
You're not going to tell me, are
you?
STACY
No.
BRAD
All right, then. It's your secret.
Stacy smiles at Brad. Brad smiles back. The car
drives on.
INT. LINDA'S ROOM - NIGHT
Stacy is in Linda's room, sitting on her bed. Her
eyes are red and moist from crying. Linda listens
to her story.
STACY
I really thought he would show up.
I waited... and waited... and
waited...
LINDA
That little prick.
STACY
Then I called his house, and his
mother told me he was in the garage
helping his father.
LINDA
That little prick.
STACY
I paid for it and everything.
LINDA
There goes your stereo for another
year. Mike Damone is a no-brain
little prick. I'm not letting him
get away with this.
STACY
Don't do anything, Linda. I'd
rather just forget about it. I
don't even like the guy.
LINDA
Stacy, he's not a guy.
(loud)
He's a little prick!
Stacy lies back on the bed.
EXT. DAMONE HOUSE - MORNING
The front door to the Damone house opens, and out
walks Mike Damone carrying some books. He looks
troubled, burdened, and stares down at the walkway
as he moves towards his car. He walks around,
starts to pen the car door, then he sees it. There,
in white spray paint across the driver's door, is
the message: PRICK.
DAMONE
Shhhhhhhhhit.
He looks both ways, and starts back towards the
house.
EXT. DAMONE CAR
Mike Damone travels down Ridgemont Drive, making
the turn into the school parking lot. There is a
large cardboard panel taped on the side of his car.
EXT. DAMONE'S LOCKER
He arrives at his locker, where, in white spray
paint, there is another message: LITTLE PRICK.
Several girls walk by, they laugh knowingly.
GIRL #1
Hi, Mike!
GIRL #2
Hi, mike!
Damone backs up against the locker, with a sick
smile on his face.
DAMONE
Hi... girls.
More students pass, looking strangely at the young
man pinned against his own locker.
EXT. BOY'S LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON
Damone exits the boys locker room. Just as he does,
he is accosted by The Rat. We have never quite
heard this tone in The Rat's voice before.
THE RAT
Damone? What happened between you
and Stacy?
Damone feigns The Attitude, shakes his head. Damone
sighs.
DAMONE
Let me tell you something, Rat.
Sometimes girls just go haywire. It
was a month ago, I've been trying
to think of a way to tell you ever
since. We started messing around
and...
(shrugs)
... something happened. It's all
over with. It's no big deal. I
never called her again.
The Rat says nothing.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
If you ask me, she's pretty
aggressive. You understand what I'm
saying?
THE RAT
No Damone. I don't understand.
DAMONE
She wasn't really your girlfriend
anyway.
THE RAT
Hey fuck you Damone. There's a lot
of girls out there and you mess
around with Stacy. What have you
got to prove?
DAMONE
Jesus. I'm sorry.
THE RAT
I always stick up for you. Whenever
people say 'Aw, that Damone is a
loudmouth' -- and they say that a
lot -- I say 'You just don't know
Damone.' When someone says you're
an idiot, I tell them 'Damone's not
an idiot. You just don't know him.'
Well, you know, Damone, maybe they
do know you pretty good. And I'm
just finding out.
DAMONE
Fine. Get lost.
Damone starts to push past him, but The Rat shoves
his shoulder hard.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
All right, Rat. You want to do
something about it?
Damone begins the classic high school fighting
ritual. He throws his books down. He takes a step
back. He goes into a crouch. He gestures towards
himself. Then Damone says the universally
recognized high school fighting words.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
Well come on.
The Rat shows no fear. As other kids begin to crowd
around the two boys, Rat throws his own books down.
He takes a step back, goes into the crouch. He
gestures toward himself.
THE RAT
You come on.
They stand there, gesturing, neither one of them
wanting to make the first move.
DAMONE
No. You come on, you wuss.
Assistant Coach Mr. Sexton comes running out of the
boy's locker room, and steps in front of the two
boys.
SEXTON
Hey! Knock this crap off!!
The Rat stalks off, disappearing into the crowd of
onlookers.
DISSOLVE
TO:
EXT. RIDGEMONT DRIVE - NIGHT
The Ridgemont Drive strip is filled with cars,
cruising for parties. There is a lot of honking,
and yelling out windows. Everyone is headed towards
the beach. We stay on a lowly 7-11 store near the
freeway entrance.
EXT. 7-11 STORE - NIGHT
A yellow Firebird slowly, menacingly cruises the
empty parking lot. It does not stop.
Then, around the corner, walks Jeff Spicoli. We see
him in the neon 7-11 light, his hands stuffed deep
into the pockets of baggy jeans. He walks inside
the store. He is the only shopper.
INT. 7-11 STORE
Brad Hamilton stands behind the counter in a red
and white striped shirt and cap, making fresh
coffee. Jeff Spicoli trudges up to the counter. He
looks at Brad. Brad looks at Spicoli. There is an
unspoken edge between them.
SPICOLI
Hey, mon, can I use the bathroom?
Brad squints his eyes, looks at the sign on the
back room door.
ANGLE ON
sign which reads: Rest Room For Employees Only.
BRAD
Go ahead. Just make it quick.
SPICOLI
Totally.
BRAD
It's the first door on your left.
Spicoli disappears into the back room. Brad sighs,
looks at the clock. It reads: 11:15. Then he hears
Spicoli from the back room.
SPICOLI (O.S.)
I can't find it, mon!
BRAD
It's the first door on your left!
SPICOLI (O.S.)
On the ledge?
BRAD
First door on your left!
SPICOLI (O.S.)
There it is!
Brad sighs again. He loads a new filter into the
coffee maker.
EXT./INT. 7-11 STORE
A moment later, the yellow Firebird pulls into the
7-11 parking lot. A man in a windbreaker comes
hurtling out of the car, into the store. He spray
paints the scanning camera above the door. He
hustles up to the counter, produces a .45 Magnum
and points it chest high at Brad. There is a glazed
and nervous speedy edge to his voice.
ROBBER
I want money. And I want it all --
now.
Brad looks pale and young under the fluorescent 7
11 light.
He speaks slowly.
BRAD
They empty and close the big safe
here at midnight.
ROBBER
(getting tougher)
I know this store. I know where the
safe is.
He bangs the gun on the counter, hard.
ROBBER (CONT'D)
Over there behind the donut case.
Now move!
Brad slowly moves to the donut case, like a zombie.
BRAD
I'm instructed to tell you that we
are on a video alarm system and
there are other hidden cameras in
the store ...
ROBBER
Just give me the money. Move it.
BRAD
Okay.
(legs are shaking)
I just started here, and they just
taught me the procedure. I'll give
you the money, just let me figure
this out.
ROBBER
(very menacing)
Move it. Move it.
Brad opens the phony back of the donut case and
fiddles with the strongbox combination.
ROBBER (CONT'D)
(more menacing)
Let's go, stupid.
Brad looks at the gunman.
BRAD
You motherfucker. Get off my
fuckin' case.
The Robber is about to react when the bathroom door
opens and Jeff Spicoli starts out, wiping his hands
on his pants.
SPICOLI
No towels, mon...
The Robber turns to look at Spicoli, and that is
all that Brad Hamilton needs. Just like it is the
most natural thing in the world, Brad reaches for
the hot, steaming coffee pot he has just made and
throws it into the gunman's face and hands.
ROBBER
Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!
The .45 falls out of his hand and rattles to the
floor. The gunman is still grabbing his face, and
looking at his skinless hands in horror when Brad
snaps up the gun. In the parking lot, the gunman's
accomplice, poised behind the wheel of the yellow
Firebird, spots the foul-up and screeches out of
the parking lot.
BRAD
There goes your ride home.
Brad pulls the under-counter alarm with newfound
confidence. Jeff Spicoli stands there, mesmerized
at the entire event.
SPICOLI
Awesome. Totally awesome.
EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - NIGHT
Kids are pouring into the Ridgemont mall. Summer
banners are already up.
INT. THE MALL - NIGHT
In the midst of all the kids and shoppers, we see
The Rat walking slowly down the promenade. He is
wearing an Army surplus jacket, and his hands are
buried deep in his pockets.
Two girls pass his way. One smiles briefly at him,
and The Rat turns to watch her pass. He is about to
say something to her, then no. He walks on, sees
Swenson's Ice-Cream Parlor up ahead. The Rat
decides to walk the other way.
INT. SWENSON'S - NIGHT
The place is busy again, filled with shoppers and
teenagers in summer-type clothing.
We see Stacy Hamilton, once again, at the cash
register wearing an Assistant manager name tag and
a hostess gown.
She handles a customer's bill, then stands there a
moment, looking glum. Linda Barrett approaches.
STACY
Another summer of working at
Swenson's.
LINDA
Come on. There's lots of men around
here. Keep your eyes open.
STACY
You know, Linda. I've finally
figured it out. It's not sex I
want. Anyone can have sex.
LINDA
What do you want?
STACY
I want romance.
LINDA
Romance in Ridgemont? We don't even
get cable TV.
ANGLE ON
the back kitchen door, which swings open, and out
comes Mike Damone in a peppermint Swenson's shirt.
He wipes some grime on his pants.
STACY
Mike! You have a mess on C-9!
DAMONE
All right. All right. I just
cleaned B-8. Give me a break.
STACY
Get going.
The two girls smile, go back to their posts.
INT. JEFF SPICOLI'S ROOM - NIGHT
Jeff Spicoli sits in his room, and it is his
castle. Clothes lie in disarray on the floor. A
huge half-waxed surfboard is propped against the
window. We see Spicoli dressed in a too large white
short-sleeved shirt, attempting to tie his father's
fat paisley tie. He stops to take a hit from his
bong, all the while talking on the phone. The music
of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird" plays on the radio.
SPICOLI
I... am... so... wasted, mon. What
is in this shit?
(pause)
Doesn't that stuff cause brain
damage?
(pause)
Bitchin'.
Spicoli listens for a moment. He rubs his eyes,
shakes his head. He is really buzzed.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Hey, mon, I am going to Mexico as
soon as school is out. Two more
weeks, bud. Week from Wednesday.
(pause)
I am gonna take both boards, my
duck feet, many cases of beer, and
just jam.
(pause)
No, mon, from school. I'm leaving
as soon as school gets out. I'll be
at Sunset Cliffs by nighttime.
(pause)
Totally.
(pause)
Later.
Spicoli hangs up, and concentrates on tying his
tie. He almost strangles himself. Then suddenly the
door to his room flies open and Spicoli's little
brother Curtis bursts in.
CURTIS
Jeff you have company!
SPICOLI
Go away, Curtis. If you can't
knock, I can't hear you.
Curtis slams the door and leaves. A moment later
there is a knock.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
That's better. Come in.
The door swings open and Jeff Spicoli sits in
stoned shock at the sight before him. There,
standing in the doorway of his room is Mr. Hand.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Mr... Mr. Hand.
MR. HAND
That's right, Jeff. Mind if I come
in?
Spicoli can only nod.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
(calling downstairs)
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Spicoli.
Hand walks into Spicoli's room, takes off his suit
jacket and lays it on the chair back. He stops a
moment and catches the stare of Miss January
Penthouse on the wall, then turns to Spicoli.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Were you going somewhere tonight,
Jeff?
SPICOLI
Yeah. The Graduation Dance Mr.
Hand. It's the last school event of
the year.
MR. HAND
I'm afraid we've got some things to
discuss here, Jeff.
SPICOLI
Did I do something wrong, Mr. Hand?
Hand removes several copies of Oui Magazine from
another chair and sits down. He sets his briefcase
on Spicoli's dresser, next to a bag of pot, and
opens it up for easy access.
MR. HAND
Do you want to sit there, Jeff?
SPICOLI
I don't know. I guess so.
MR. HAND
Fine. You sit right here on your
bed. I'll use the chair here.
(pause)
As I explained to your parents just
a moment ago, and to you many times
since the very beginning of the
school year -- I don't like to
spend my time waiting for late
students, or detention cases. I'd
rather be preparing the lesson.
Mr. Hand takes a sheet from his briefcase and looks
at it.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
According to my calculations, Mr.
Spicoli, you wasted a total of
eight hours of my time this year.
And rest assured that is a kind
estimate.
He returns the sheet to his case and looks into
Spicoli's weed-ravaged eyes.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
Now, Mr. Spicoli, comes a rare
moment for me. Now I have the
unique pleasure of squaring our
account. Tonight, you and I are
going to talk in great detail about
the Davis Agreement, all the
associated treaties, and the
American Revolution in particular.
Now if you can just turn to Chapter
47 of Lord of Truth And Liberty.
SPICOLI
Hey, it's in my locker, Mr. Hand.
MR. HAND
Well, then, I'm glad I remembered
to bring an extra copy just for
you.
Hand reaches in his case and produces the book. He
hands it to Spicoli.
DISSOLVE
TO:
INT. SPICOLI'S ROOM - HOURS LATER
Wearily, Spicoli is trying to grasp the material.
SPICOLI
... so, like, when Jefferson went
before the people what he was
saying was 'Hey, we left this place
in England because it was bogus,
and if we don't come up with some
cool rules ourself, we'll be bogus,
too!' Right?
ANGLE ON MR. HAND
who nods his head.
MR. HAND
Very close, Jeff.
Hand reaches over and gets his case.
MR. HAND (CONT'D)
I think I've made my point with you
tonight.
SPICOLI
Hey, Mr. Hand, can I ask you a
question?
MR. HAND
What's that?
SPICOLI
Do you have a guy like me every
year? A guy to... I don't know,
make a show of. Teach other kids
lessons and stuff?
MR. HAND
Well, you'll find out next year.
SPICOLI
(smiling)
No way, mon. When I graduate U.S.
history I ain't even coming over to
your side of the building.
MR. HAND
If you graduate.
SPICOLI
(panicked)
You're gonna flunk me?!
Mr. Hand pauses a moment, then breaks into the
nearest approximation of a grin we have seen all
year. It isn't much, but it's noticeable. His lips
crinkle at the ends.
MR. HAND
Don't worry, Spicoli. You'll
probably squeak by.
SPICOLI
All right! Oh, yeah!
Mr. Hand has now gathered all his material, and he
stands to approach Spicoli's door. Jeff jumps up,
extends his hand.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Aloha, Mr. Hand!
MR. HAND
Aloha, Spicoli.
Mr. Hand exits the room, and descends the staircase
of the Spicoli household. Spicoli kicks the door
shut, grins, and continues struggling with his tie.
INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - NIGHT
Tight angle on the emotion-filled face of the lead
singer in a cheesy high school band called the T
Birds. He is bathed in a blue light, singing the
last verse of The Eagles' 'Take It To The Limit'.
We pull back to reveal a large, clumsy banner
reading: LAST DANCE. Students are pouring into the
gym for this event. Many have brought their annual
yearbooks. On stage, the lead singer snaps his
fingers and the band goes into Nick Lowe's 'Heart
of the City'. Some students start to dance.
Every one of our characters is either here, or
about to arrive. From Charles Jefferson to Spicoli
to Mr. Hand. For once, all classes are partying
together. But, just as in the beginning of the year
on lunch court, the kids are still cordoned off
into their distinctive cliques.
ANGLE ON MORE STUDENTS ARRIVING
at the Last Dance. They see Mr. Hand signing
annuals by the door. They all say the same thing as
they pass, "Aloha, Mr. Hand". He nods in return.
ANGLE ON STACY
surveying the growing mob of annual-crazed
students. From behind her comes Linda Barrett in a
low-cut black dress.
STACY
Where's Doug?
LINDA
He's not coming.
STACY
Not coming? What happened?
LINDA
He says he's got to stay in
Chicago.
(sighs)
He says I should visit him
sometimes.
STACY
Sometime?
LINDA
Yeah, like maybe never.
STACY
But what are you going to do?
LINDA
Well I might go to Dartmouth.
STACY
Dartmouth?!
LINDA
I didn't tell anyone I applied
cause I never thought I'd make it.
STACY
I can't believe it! But what about
Doug?
LINDA (STOIC)
There's a world of guys out there.
I just wish I didn't have to date
any of them.
STACY
Hey -- Doug Stallworth? It's his
loss.
ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE
in another part of the dance, by the Junior class
sponsored food counter. Damone is standing, talking
to several girls, gesturing and being Damone, Mr.
Attitude.
DAMONE
Sign my annual, honey.
The girls look at each other, laugh. They walk
away.
ANGLE ON THE RAT
standing nearby.
THE RAT
You're losing it, Damone.
DAMONE
You're crazy. Those girls love me.
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
sprawled out in the bleachers with his surfer
stoner buddies. He turns to one admiring stoner
(Todd).
SPICOLI
Hey, mon. Sign my annual.
Spicoli slips the annual into the kid's crotch. The
stoner winces in pain, but still opens the book and
lingers on all the signings in Spicoli's annual.
They are all drug-related messages from fellow
stoners. After a moment, Spicoli's friend signs:
"Thanks for the reds. Todd."
TODD
Hey, mon, good thing we're going to
Mexico this summer. 'Cause you're
gonna get kicked out of your house
when your parents read your annual.
INT. GYMNASIUM - ANGLE ON DOOR
Brad Hamilton pushes both doors open, and makes his
entrance into the Last Dance. There is a lot of
activity going on, but all nearby eyes turn to Brad
as he walks into the dance. Fifteen kids
immediately gravitate towards him. They all want
Brad to sign their annuals, to talk about the 7-11
incident. Onstage, the T-Birds play the Beatles'
"It Won't Be Long".
We see Brad's old girlfriend Lisa push up to him.
Her new jock boyfriend holds a protective arm
around her.
LISA
I saw your picture in the paper.
You had the greatest look on your
face!
ANOTHER STUDENT
Front of the Metro Section. I'm
telling my parents, 'I know this
guy, I know this guy.'
Lisa's boyfriend pulls his arm tighter around her.
LISA
Will you sign my annual, Brad?
Brad smiles, nods. He signs, and gives her his. We
then see Brad's three Buddies from Carl's Jr. come
up, pat him on the back and grab his shoulder. Brad
studies them warily.
BUDDY #1
Fuckin' manager of 7-11!
BUDDY #2
Get us jobs over there, Brad! You
can do it!
BRAD
Since when do you guys want to work
at 7-11?
BUDDY #2
Come on, Brad! It would be great!
All of us together!
BRAD
Well, 7-11 is a tremendous
operation. It's really changed,
man. They've got great food, great
magazines, videogames... it's
class. Total class.
BUDDY #3
As soon as you can get us in there,
we're gone from Carl's, Brad.
BUDDY #2
Yeah, man, all the little punks
from junior high have taken over
the place.
Brad leaves his old buddies. He grins and notices
someone across the crowded dance floor.
BRAD
Hey, Thompson! Wendell! Get a job!
They laugh, flip him off. Brad is back in his
element at last. He moves into the main dancing
area, works his way across the room, past the
bleachers, when he hears a voice.
SPICOLI (O.S.)
Hamilton!
Brad turns around, seen Spicoli sitting on the
bottom rung of the bleachers. Spicoli looks back
with true respect.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Awesome.
He throws Brad his annual. Brad gives him his. They
sign.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Easy, mon.
BRAD
Later.
ANGLE ON THE BLEACHERS
where several couples are passionately making out.
Four teachers clomp up into the stands from
different angles. They pin the couples in
flashlight beams, like the main tower pinning an
escaping prisoner.
ANGLE ON THE T-BIRDS
onstage, singing the Rolling Stones' "I'm Free".
EXT. GYNMASIUM - NIGHT
We see Jeff Spicoli leave the dance and come
backing down the stairs with a stoner bud. His fist
is in the air.
SPICOLI
Summer, mon! We're there!
He turns to his stoner bud.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Let's roll, my man.
Spicoli backs right into a young buzz-cut kid.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Hey, bud! Watch yourselff
Spicoli turns around to see he's backed into a
squad of eight Lincoln Surf Nazis. They are all
standing on the steps, waiting.
SURF NAZI
Are you Jeff Spicoli?
Spicoli looks up and down the row of Surf Nazis. On
the end, he sees L.C.
L.C.
That's him! He did it!
SPICOLI
Hey, mon, I don't know what your
trip is, but...
Spicoli dashes off down Luna Street. L.C. and the
Surf Nazis take out in hot pursuit, chasing him
through the parking lot, past Ridgemont High, and
into the night. They will never catch him.
SLOW
DISSOLVE:
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL
School is out and it's summer business as usual at
the Ridgemont Mall. We see the same stores, the
same packs of kids roaming the three tiers.
ANGLE ON MARK RATNER
who stands against the railing in his Cinema Four
jacket, gazing across the mall at Swenson's Ice
Cream Parlor. He sees Stacy walk two girlfriends to
the outdoor front tables, and almost look his way.
The Rat turns away suddenly. Then he hears her
calling out after him.
STACY
Hey Mark! Turn around!
Ratner turns around, affects total and complete
cool. He waves across the mall to her.
STACY (CONT'D)
Come over here!
He looks back at his post at the theatre, decides
it's okay to step away. He walks across the mall.
INT. SWENSON'S
Stacy is standing by the sundae bar. Next to her
are two empty stools. After a moment, we see The
Rat plop onto one of the metal stools. He pounds
the seat next to him with the palm of his hand.
THE RAT
You. Sit.
Stacy turns to look at him, smiles. She sits.
STACY
Hi, Mark.
THE RAT
Hi, Stacy. How are you?
STACY
I'm fine. Mark, I'm so glad you
came over here because I want you
to know something. I just thought I
would tell you that I really
enjoyed getting to know you this
year.
The Rat maintains The Attitude.
THE RAT
Yeah? About fifty people I didn't
know wrote that in my annual.
STACY
I know everybody says it, but I
really mean it.
The Rat looks at her from the corner of his eyes.
THE RAT
Really?
STACY
Yeah. I want you to have this
picture, so you won't forget what I
look like. And so you'll remember
to call me over the summer.
She withdraws a picture from her pocket, hands it
to The Rat.
THE RAT
Well, I don't know, I may be doing
some traveling this summer. I don't
know how much I'll be around...
(breaks down, takes
picture)
But I'll give you a call sometime.
STACY
I'd like that.
She gives him a kiss on the mouth, gets up and
walks away. The Rat sits there, smiling at the way
things sometimes turn out. He slips the picture
into his pocket, a satisfied young man.
INT./EXT. SWENSON'S AND MALL
The Rat is joined by Mike Damone, who has changed
into his street clothes.
DAMONE
She wants it, Rat.
The Rat snickers, shakes his head.
DAMONE (CONT'D)
I saw you. You had pure Attitude.
The Rat turns to look at his friend.
THE RAT
The Attitude, Damone, is only good
until you meet the right girl.
DAMONE
Whatever you say, Rat.
They take off together, blending into the crowd of
kids walking the mall.
THE RAT
And... you can only tell it's the
right girl if you're sensitive.
DAMONE
Sensitive -- what is that?
THE RAT
Sensitive is when you can tell how
people feel without asking.
DAMONE
So what makes you so sensitive?
THE RAT
Well, for one, I read. I don't
watch as much television as you.
I'm trying to feel things more. I'm
learning a lot about people.
DAMONE
What do you read? What's the last
book you read?
THE RAT
Lust For Life. It's the story of
Vincent Van Gough.
DAMONE
(scoffs)
Yeah, well, I saw the movie. That
must mean I'm sensitive too.
THE RAT
It's a way, Damone. It's a vibe. I
put it out, and I have personally
found that girls do respond.
Damone laughs, shoves him hard. We lose sight of
the two boys in the sea of kids.
A SERIES OF ANGLES
of Ridgemont Center Mall with music.
CREDITS
FADE TO
BLACK
THE END
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